


Loud Places

by writertitan



Series: Loud Places [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College Student Eren Yeager, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Meetings, Friends With Benefits, Modern Era, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Musician Eren Yeager, Older Eren Yeager, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, a fucking well deserved slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28541409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writertitan/pseuds/writertitan
Summary: Your whole life feels brand new after a breakup, and you've made a promise to yourself to welcome change and keep things interesting. But after you meet self-proclaimed musician Eren Jaeger, he may just become something permanent.
Relationships: Eren Yeager & Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Series: Loud Places [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2090958
Comments: 209
Kudos: 361





	1. Higher Places

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I created a little playlist to correspond with each chapter for Musician!Eren inspo. Listen to this song for this chapter's vibes:
> 
> **Loud Places - Jamie xx, Romy**

Noise-cancelling headphones were your best friend. As much as you wanted to blend in tonight and not have any eyes on you, the fact remained that protecting your ears from the deafening music being played on the small stage was a little more important to you. But after gaining more than a few side glances, maybe you’d invest in some of those fancy (and barely noticeable) AirPods for next time. And honestly, there would probably be a next time. Before your breakup, you had generally liked being able to get out of the house and immerse yourself into a new space, but this post-breakup version of you was all about it. A new restaurant or takeout spot every week, a new travel spot added to your bucket list, a new café to try out. For one thing, you’d been getting settled into your favorite places, and now those places had too many painful memories. You wanted to be a new person, free from the ties of your past, and you didn’t want to look as boring as you felt. 

The show tonight had been suggested by Christa, your slightly worried roommate. Although she genuinely loved that you were trying new things, she also saw through you a little bit, and knew that some of your reasons for your recent behavior stemmed from some dark places. She never pushed you to open up, but she did kindly suggest a night out at the local venue that was not at all new to the two of you. It was how you ended up bonding as roommates when you first moved in together. The venue was a warehouse just a few blocks out of your city’s downtown borders that mostly served as a bar, but the owners prided themselves on finding and encouraging local artists to perform there, on a cramped little stage at the front of the building. There was an upper floor that served like a “backstage” area for the performers and crews, and the paneling obscured the view so you could only see silhouettes. Your group of friends frequented the place and you’d even shown it to your ex, who was taken by it immediately, and you couldn’t hide that you were a little nervous about potentially running into him. Another, secret reason why you’d brought your noise-cancelling headphones along. It was no problem to Christa, who had been engrossed in the music herself and didn’t need to chat with anyone. She had even run up close to the stage at one point to jam out, but was now back in the seat across from you, back turned to you mostly so she could watch the little concert. 

The band on the stage eventually played the last chords to their last song of the night and the crowd applauded them, a few whoops searing the air to signal a job well done. You clapped along with them after sliding your headphones around your neck, seeing Christa smiling at you and tapping your empty pint of beer when she turned back to face you. 

“I’m grabbing us another round!” she shouted over the noise, and you quickly shook your head, blushing and fumbling for your wallet in your purse. 

“Here, take my card!” you urged, shoving it up to her face with pleading eyes. Christa stuck her tongue out playfully and ignored your efforts to have at least one round on you, already waving her own card in the air triumphantly. 

“Nope, this night’s on me!” she called over her shoulder before hurrying off to the bar, the cacophony of voices enveloping you once more. Christa was swallowed by the crowd that had shown up tonight almost instantly, and though there were throngs of people around you and no shortage of lively conversations and laughter left and right, you suddenly felt so alone. Desperate to disappear into your own world at least until Christa returned, you pulled your headphones back on, relieved when it all muted. The relaxed sigh that left your lungs escaped through your nose, your eyes half-lidded as you zoned out. It was a good night so far and you were surprised to see the place so full. It was certainly never empty, of course, but tonight especially had brought in quite the number of patrons. You briefly wondered why, still zoned out and not really paying attention to your surroundings. It didn’t dawn on you that your eyes, although blankly staring, had fixated on something in particular. Or, rather, some _one_ in particular. Not until you noticed him waving at you slowly with a crooked smirk, head tilted curiously. He was seated at the bar itself across the venue from you, his free hand wrapped easily around a bottle of cheap beer that he tilted towards his body, ready to take a swig out of. 

_How fucking embarrassing_ , was your immediate thought when you finally noticed, blood rushing to your face. Of course you were being involuntarily creepy. You pressed your hands to your warm cheeks in embarrassment when you felt them heat up, as if the pressure of your touch would make the flush of heat go away, and then slowly lifted a hand to wave back, your gaze filled with an apology for him. He was already laughing; it was an open-mouthed, head tilted back sort of laugh, a genuine one, a laugh that you could swear you heard despite your headphones and all the other noises surrounding you. There was no telling if he was laughing _at_ you or trying to laugh _with_ you. He did, however, take your embarrassed smile and the shy look you gave him from under your lashes as an invitation to saunter over with his drink still in hand, confidently maneuvering around this person and that person before plopping down at your table. He started to say something and you yanked your headphones off, feeling for the first time that night that you shouldn’t have brought them. He probably thought you were so weird. The boy stopped talking and then cleared his throat, and repeated himself. 

“I forgive you for staring, but it’s unforgivable to hog an entire table to yourself,” he greeted you with a large and boyish grin. Already teasing you, a complete stranger. “Especially on such a busy night.”

“I’m not alone, I’m here with my friend,” you protested, your face still hot with embarrassment. 

“Saving seats is also lousy bar etiquette,” he said, then jutted his chin to your headphones, brilliant green eyes focusing on them. “Why do you have those? Don’t like the music?” A spark glinted in his eye as he asked the question, making you raise your brow. You sat up straighter, feeling more confident. 

“It’s just... _loud_ ,” you replied honestly. “I didn’t realize it would be so busy. Do you know why it is? Is there someone popular playing tonight?” 

“Yeah, a band that’s kinda well-known around town. Not famous by any means, but a local favorite. You would know if you came here more often,” he answered, grinning wide at you again. 

“And you like them?” you asked, curious. 

“Nah, they suck,” he told you with a smirk, a secret hidden behind it. He was teasing you, and you didn’t even know why. Like it was some sort of joke. Maybe it was a little stupid to ask him if he liked the band. He was here, after all.

He took a sip of his beer and both of you turned when another person joined your table. It was Christa, who was eyeing the stranger down curiously as she set your drinks down. 

“I better get going,” he said after taking a glance at his phone, standing up and holding the chair out for Christa. She sat down gratefully, albeit still confused, and thanked him as she reached for her drink, a cocktail this time in place of the previous rounds of beer. The stranger turned to you, his gaze penetrating yours, and your cheeks heated up yet again when he winked at you with that crooked smile etched on his face. “My name’s Eren. Thanks for staring at me.” 

You gawked as he made his way through the crowd, eventually out of your sight. 

“Who was that? He was cute!” Christa squealed, lightly prodding your shin with her boot under the table. “Did he really catch you staring?” 

“I wasn’t staring at him,” you groaned, still embarrassed, but mostly just...frazzled. What was that? You’d been trying to gather your nerves the entire time, and he’d teased you so easily. 

Christa was about to say something else but was interrupted by a screechy mic, making everyone wince. 

“Sorry! Sorry,” a voice said into the microphone. Your eyes flickered to the stage and Christa turned in her seat to get a better look at the guy with the buzzcut who was readjusting the microphone. A few shouts and greetings made him smile and salute the people in attendance before he turned to look over his shoulder at a few other guys setting up their gear. “We’re almost done with setting up, how is everyone tonight?” More cheers, shouts, indecipherable words of greeting and praise. 

The guy kept up the small talk for a bit, interacting with a few people here and there, and you were captivated in his little shtick while the others worked in the background, the lack of proper stage lights making it hard to see anyone but Buzzcut. You sipped at your drink and giggled with Christa about the little pre-show before the show, actually enjoying yourself. These guys were going to be way better than the last group that had been up. You wondered why your stranger, Eren, had said they sucked. He probably had just been joking. Eventually, a muscular blond guy tapped Buzzcut on the shoulder after finishing something with the drums, and murmured something that got him excited. 

“Alright, guys and gals, we’re all set now...let’s get this show started!” 

More cheers, but now you hesitated, your hands absently moving up to grab at your headphones nestled around your neck. As much as you had enjoyed the little pre-show banter, you doubted you would enjoy the blast of music for the next hour. As the first song started to play, you were grateful that it was actually a bit softer than the previous band. Even so, the headphones were almost back to being snug around your ears, but the sight on stage made you freeze in surprise. 

Stepping up to the microphone with a guitar in clutch was none other than Eren, the boy you’d just met. You blinked in surprise as he strummed at his guitar and heard Christa laughing, her eyes wide and happy as she turned back to you excitedly. 

“So cool, you were talking to one of the band members!” she giggled, then whirled back around to watch intently. 

And then, he looked at you, _right at you_ , as he began to sing the first verse of the song. There was a gentle, slightly smug smile still on his face, and you could have sworn all the blood rushed to your head. Your headphones dropped back around your neck and it looked like Eren’s smile grew just a little at that, his eyes eventually breaking away to interact with the rest of the patrons. His fans. 

Lots of people even seemed to know the lyrics and sang along, clapped along when encouraged by Eren and his two bandmates, and generally buzzed with life throughout the show. However, you just couldn't concentrate on what he was singing. Occasionally your eyes met, each time also bringing forth a skipped heartbeat for you and a little flip in your stomach, and you didn’t even dare try to push your headphones back around your ears. His music was actually good, and you found yourself swaying to some of the slower-paced songs. 

The only thing that could pull your attention away was a nudge on your shoulder, making you face none other than Ymir. It was suddenly no wonder that Christa had insisted on always being the one to go and order some drinks; Ymir was working tonight. 

“I’m off early and promised Christa that I’d give you guys a ride home so you didn’t have to fight for an Uber,” she told you, voice always loud and clear, very much now used to the constantly rowdy spirit of the bar she worked in. “So come on, hurry up. Show’s almost over anyway and I don’t want to get stuck here.” 

“Okay.” You nodded and finished the rest of your cocktail, hopping off your chair and gathering your things. Just as Ymir said, the current song playing finished off as you pulled your bag over your shoulder, unable to help one final glance at Eren and his band as the music died down. Another round of applause, and Eren took command again, his voice echoing in your mind as your gazes locked for the final time that night. 

“Thanks for being such a fun crowd. This next one’s gonna be the last song for the night.” His eyes, on you. Your eyes, on him. The first notes of a dreamy tune. That crooked and impish grin appearing on his face easily. “Thanks for staring at me.” 

The hot summer air didn’t do anything for your flushed body as Ymir nearly dragged you outside to her car. The inky blanket of night did nothing to hide your heated and frazzled face and you quietly climbed into the backseat while Christa sat in the passenger seat up front, chatting with Ymir about what a fun night it had been. Your name was mentioned and you snapped back to attention, moving your eyes away from the warehouse where a few people were already starting to file out. 

“What?” you breathed out, leaning forward between Ymir and Christa’s seats. 

“I said it was funny that that one guy caught you staring at him and he turned out to be in that one band!” Christa said again, a knowing smile on her face as she glanced at the way your eyes seemed to flicker back to the warehouse that was already nearly out of sight. 

You didn’t need to respond; Ymir scoffed and waved a hand dismissively before returning it to the steering wheel. 

“That fucking band. If your roommate knows what’s good for her, she should be careful not to chase after musicians.” 

“I wasn’t staring,” you whispered, but even you didn't believe that anymore.


	2. Whiskey Sour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and welcome back! So excited to finally share the second chapter. And of course we're keeping up with the playlist; here's the song that corresponds with this chapter's vibes: 
> 
> **Cold War (Nick AM Remix) - Cautious Clay, Nick AM**
> 
> Enjoy!

The sweltering heat caused you to tug at your work uniform as you marched to your car, the scream of frustration already building in your throat. After an entire shift of serving patrons that absolutely _needed_ outdoor seating (“Such a beautiful day, I’d love a sunny lunch spot!”), you felt like you were sopping from sweat. That wasn’t what had you about to explode, however. In fact, you wanted that, you would do that no questions asked, if it meant reversing the last five minutes of your shift, where you’d been brought into the back with your manager. As soon as you heard the words “hours being cut”, you almost lost it right then and there. With the summer season in full swing, most students were indeed back home or also working, not needing a study or hangout place, so of course it was a little slower. But slow enough to have to cut your hours?! 

“Zeke, come on!” you had groaned, slumping down in the only other chair in his cramped office. “We’re still getting decent business, right? This isn’t fair!” 

Zeke shot you a sympathetic glance but didn’t waiver, still going through the books for the month. “I wish there was more I could do. I’m sorry. Your hours will go back to normal once the fall semester starts, but right now, we only need one person at the front instead of two. I’ve already adjusted the schedule.” 

You had pouted but decided to accept defeat, mumbling a goodbye and grabbing your bag in a huff as you left your place of work. As soon as you unlocked the car and hopped inside, you let out your shriek of irritation, slamming a hand against the steering wheel and accidentally pressing on the horn for a split second. It made you jump but also helped to jerk you back into reality. You couldn’t lose control. You just had to suck it up. Money was either going to be tight or you’d have to find a second job until classes kicked up again, which was such a bummer. Either way, it wasn’t the ideal outcome for your first summer as a semi-adult. Now that you actually had rent to pay, bills to pay, and weren’t cooped up in the dorms, you needed the money. 

“Fuck!” you seethed, then groaned, realizing right then how much hotter it was in your car. The heat was stifling in your car, having parked it in the direct sunlight all day, and it burned to touch even your seatbelt as you buckled it into place and started your car. You winced when your hands clasped around the wheel, also searing hot, but you didn’t want to wait for the AC to kick into high gear. You just wanted to go home and sulk.

**********

Christa and Ymir noticed your attitude the moment you pushed through the door, merely watching from the couch as you threw your bag onto the ground and kicked off your shoes.

“Jesus...what the fuck happened? You’re sweating from your entire face,” was Ymir’s greeting to you. She didn’t even flinch when Christa elbowed her, nor did she bat an eye when you glared at her murderously. 

“I got my hours cut, _that’s_ what the fuck happened!” you yelled, throwing up your arms boldly as you spoke, and about to scream yet again. Screw having control. This was the worst day of the summer, and summer was barely even starting! 

“Oh no,” came Christa’s sympathetic whisper, hopping up from the couch and crossing over to hug you. She ignored Ymir’s disgusted, “Christa, don’t touch her, she’s sweating like a pig,” and rested her head on your shoulder for a moment before pulling away to look at you. 

Fucking Christa. Always able to calm anyone down. 

“We’ll figure it out,” she said cheerfully. Her blue eyes were already brighter, more determined as the cogs in her brain started turning, thinking of solutions for your predicament. 

“I don’t know about that,” you sighed, slumping against the wall, your frown ever-present. “I think I’ll need to find a second job, but I doubt anyone’s hiring right now. Stupid college town. Sorry, Christa. I promise it won’t affect my half of the rent or anything.” 

Christa looked at you with what you knew was sympathy, but took as pity, and you were about to go off on a tangent when Ymir scoffed and gracefully lifted herself from the couch and loped towards you, raising a brow. 

“Stop worrying so much,” she scoffed, arms crossed. “I can get you a job at the bar, no problem. We’re looking for some fresh blood anyway. That is, if you’re down for that kind of job.” 

You were nodding before she had even finished speaking, the frown finally lifting until a bright smile. “Ymir, that would be awesome! Please get me in!” 

“Consider it done,” she said airily, then smirked as she quirked a brow and stared down at you. “Don’t sweat it.” 

At that, you wrinkled your nose and looked down at yourself, shifting uncomfortably in your damp uniform, but it didn’t hinder your excitement. You pushed past her and hurried for a quick, cold shower, calling out a million thanks before the bathroom door slammed behind you. Curiously, your thoughts drifted back to last weekend, your mind remembering the pair of green eyes belonging to a boy named Eren. Would you see him again?

**********

The first time you had messed up a drink, Ymir told you it was fine and that you’d pick it up quickly enough. The fifth time you’d messed one up, though, she was over it and you were starting to think this would be the first and last night of your bartending career.

“Just watch me, okay?” Ymir said through gritted teeth. You nodded animatedly, watching as she made one of the more complicated drinks, sliding it deftly across the bar to the patron who had ordered it just a couple of minutes later. “I’ll give you some cheat sheets later. Stop looking so pale, it’s your first fucking night. You’re just observing and assisting. Levi isn’t going to fire your ass...yet.” 

You gulped and shifted your gaze towards where you knew Levi’s office to be, like he could see you through the concrete wall separating you two. The hiring process had been nerve-racking, merely because of his intimidating aura, but he was polite enough. Ymir warned you he was a hardass, though, and you believed it wholeheartedly. 

At the stage, you could see the first and only act of the night setting up slowly. It was still early in the night, and with it being a weeknight, Levi hadn’t set up any other gigs. This guy had all the freedom to take his time. Your heart had stupidly sank when you saw the name of the artist playing tonight. It wasn’t Eren’s band. Still, you were excited for some more local music. Something new. Still on that kick of trying out new things. Ymir had also promised you that she’d make you her super secret “end of shift” shot that she only made for her and the other employees at the end of a shift. Out of all of the new things to be happening today, that was the new thing of the night you were most looking forward to.  
You built up more courage as the night wore on and the solo man on stage started performing, just a soundboard and a soft voice to fill the bar, but it was calming and took away attention from the new girl at the bar. Suddenly, you were incredibly thankful that Levi prided himself on finding local talent. It was really helping you out as the newbie who could barely make a - 

“Whiskey sour?” a voice piped up, a tinge of familiarity making you perk up. You whirled around from where you were mopping up your latest mess, pushing loose strands of hair out of your eyes as they immediately landed on none other than Eren himself, the boy in the band you’d met last weekend. 

“Eren!” you beamed, tossing the dish rag onto the counter and hurrying over a little too quickly. He looked delighted that you remembered his name, opening his mouth to greet you, then faltered and blushed. He quickly composed himself, however, and shot you a megawatt smile. 

“So I told you my name, but you were too busy gawking at me to tell me yours?” he teased, then leaned over the counter to read your nametag, slowly pronouncing your name out loud after a moment with a concentrated gaze; the sound of it made your heart pound against your chest and rendered you unable to return the teasing. He said your name more confidently a second time, his smile back on his lips. “Nice to see you again. I didn’t know you worked here. I think I would have noticed you before.” 

You ignored the jumps of your heart and gripped the edge of the counter as you leaned back casually, a sheepish smile on your face as gave him a one-shouldered shrug. “First day, actually. Turns out I’m kinda horrible at being a bartender.” 

Eren’s grin melted into a sweet smile, folding his arms on the counter and leaning in, making you change your stance to rest your elbows on the counter and lean in as well. It didn’t escape you how close you suddenly were, and a thrill went through you. 

“Well, I’m easy,” he teased. There was such a playful glint in his eye and you couldn’t help but mirror his attitude a little, flashing a smirk his way. 

“Whiskey sour, you said?” 

Eren nodded and you straightened up, bold and confident as you grabbed a glass. Ymir raised a brow when she saw you preparing a drink by yourself, then saw Eren and rolled her eyes. You pretended not to notice her. In your mind, you were sort of catching on to how to make the simpler drinks and got a little cocky as you made Eren’s, spilling some ice on the floor by accident. 

_Calm down, it’s just a simple whiskey sour. He’s going easy on you_ , you thought to yourself, but appreciated Eren’s patience as you stirred his drink together. You straightened your shoulders and presented him with a happy smile, having perfected the Customer Service Smile from your other job, arm outstretched to hand him his drink. Just as you were about to slide it across like Ymir did, your foot stepped on some of the spilled ice, now partially melted, your balance giving out. The fall felt like it was in slow motion, the embarrassment and shock making you hyper-aware of your hand slipping in a way that made the drink spill towards Eren instead of yourself, and you landed with a thud that felt like it was so loud it was deafening. Even the musician on stage faltered for a moment. 

“Are you okay?” you heard his voice echo through the mic, which made your already burning hot face flush even more. So much for appreciating the local talent. 

Ymir was repeatedly face-palming herself, a string of curses leaving her mouth as she snatched the dish towel you’d discarded with an angry and quick hand to start cleaning up your mess. From above, you saw Eren had leaned over the counter completely to gaze down at you, pure concern and alarm in his eyes as your name fell from his lips. 

“Holy shit, are you okay?!” he asked, ignoring Ymir’s rough pushes on his shoulders and commands to get back on the other side of the bar. The music began playing again. 

“I’m fine,” you breathed out meekly, biting your lip when Ymir harshly yanked you back to your feet. 

“Idiot!” she shouted at you, throwing you the dish rag. “I said watch me make the drinks for tonight since you’re so goddamn new at it! What the fuck were you thinking?!” 

“Take it easy on her, Ymir!” Eren barked, surprising you. Any tears that were threatening to spring up in your eyes, both from embarrassment and pain, disappeared and you looked at him in surprise. “It’s her first day, right? Stop acting like _you’ve_ always been a hot shit bartender.” Ymir was still fuming, but it got her to back off, but not before mumbling for you to clean your shit up. 

Still apologetic, you played around with the rag in your hands before stepping over the puddle on the floor to start wiping up the spilled drink, eyebrows furrowed as you looked at Eren, almost too embarrassed to look him in the eye. You put down the rag and yanked out a bunch of napkins from a dispenser, handing them to him with a shaky hand. 

“I’m so sorry I spilled on you, let me go find another dry rag or something,” you fretted, going to the back before Eren could say anything. Once you were out of sight, you groaned loudly and hit your forehead against the wall, shaking your head to yourself. 

“That was so embarrassing,” you whined to yourself, a pout on your lips. Face still hot to the touch, you took a deep breath before searching for some rags, also grabbing an apron. While a lot had spilled over the counter, no doubt Eren had been victim to a splash. The apron would at least help cover the wet splotches up if he chose to wear it. 

Ugh. No one had ever had this bad of a first day on the job before. There was no way. 

You half expected to see Eren gone by the time you came back out but there he was, dabbing at his pants with the napkins you’d given him. Stomach doing flips, you quietly handed him the dry rag and the apron. At the sight of the apron, he cocked a brow. 

“Obviously, you don’t have to wear it,” you told him, trying to sound confident, but your voice wavered. “But I know some of it got on you and not just the counter.” 

Eren flashed that smile, bright as ever, and you were grateful to see there wasn’t even a speck of pity adorning it. 

“Thanks. I’ll feel like part of the crew,” he said. A chuckle escaped him as he hopped off his chair and tied the apron around his waist. Ymir had already finished cleaning up your mess and was on to making other drinks, chatting up a few patrons. When she caught your eye, she called your name and gave you a stern look. 

“Go take a break, yeah? When you come back, I’m putting you to work.” 

Yikes. You nodded and grabbed a small bowl of cherries to munch on, meeting Eren’s eye yet again. 

“Want some company on your break?” he asked, emerald eyes boring into yours with the question. There was no way you’d be turning that offer down. 

The two of you meandered over to a small table towards the corner, away from the rest of the crowd, and Eren helped himself to a cherry in your small bowl as you both sat. 

“I thought only that guy was playing today,” you said, nodding your head towards the musician on set, his groove back after your little accident had set him off track. “What are you doing here if you’re not playing with your band?” 

“I’m not allowed to come and support local music at a local hangout?” he teased, making you smile. “I come here a lot to check out new artists and just shoot the shit. Usually I’m with my friends, but nobody wanted to come out tonight.” 

“Brave of you to venture out by yourself,” you joked. Eren laughed, and the sound was like music to your ears. 

He shrugged and you swore you saw pink dust his cheeks. “Well, I’m glad I did.”

There it was again, that million dollar smile, the tiniest hint of coyness attached to it. He was so sweet, especially after you’d spilled a goddamn drink on him. It made your head whirl both in happiness and confusion; he didn’t have to be so nice. A smile of your own was playing on your lips as you took him in, messy bun just like you’d last seen him, clean shaven to showcase his defined jaw, dark brows in contrast to those impossibly green eyes, a shade you didn’t know existed for an eye color. 

“Stop staring at me,” he teased, but it didn’t make you uncomfortable, it made you laugh. The beginning of an inside joke. That _thrilled_ you. Again, he stole a cherry from your bowl and you pushed it towards the middle to share, watching the way he grinned at that. “Thanks. You guys always upcharge me for extra cherries. Even though I’m, you know, a faithful patron.” 

You snorted and then gave a quick wink, lowering your voice to a stage whisper. “I’ll have to start magically forgetting to charge you.” 

The two of you mirrored each other’s grins and you relished Eren’s short but joyous laugh. He stretched out against his chair, tilting his head back, and the motion made a quick flash of leather at his collar catch your eye. Curiously, you leaned closer to inspect, catching Eren’s eye again when he settled back in place. 

“What’s that?” Still leaning across the table, you pointed to the thin brown string peeking out from his cotton shirt. He pulled it out and showed you a necklace with a key attached to the end, a beautiful and old-fashioned looking thing, gold in color. 

“Something my dad gave me before he died,” he answered casually, your heart dropping at the somber ending to his answer. He didn’t seem too bothered, and even grinned and closed the distance between you by leaning over the rest of the way across the table, teasingly poking the key against your chest. You raised a brow, not understanding the action, and he just laughed at you. 

“It’s really beautiful,” you whispered, gazing at him through your lashes. “Sorry about your dad.” 

“It’s okay,” he replied with an easy smile, leaning back in his chair. “It was a long time ago.” 

As quickly as the subject was brought up, it was changed, with Eren dropping the necklace back under his shirt and asking about your new bartending job. You found out that he was performing at the bar in a couple of days and, much to your delight, you were working that shift with Ymir, still a trainee. 

“Don’t forget to give me extra cherries,” was his response to the news, still teasing, and you rolled your eyes. 

“All I’m good for?” you teased back. It was easy with Eren. So easy that it surprised you. 

Before Eren could reply, your phone chimed with the alarm you’d set to signal that break time was over, and you internally sighed as you got up. You took the last cherry and picked up the bowl, and then loitered by the table, watching Eren stand up with you, which confused you. 

“I’ll be annoying you all night,” he said when he caught your questioning gaze, answering the unspoken question. The thought of hanging out with him all night, despite working, made you giddy. 

He was the opposite of annoying, of course. Eren brightened up your entire shift and, despite maybe being a little distracted, you found that you were more animated and motivated to work with him there. Ymir allowed him a free drink towards the end of the night, right before last call, while you did the dirty work and cleaned up the counter and went to sweep the rest of the bar. You swept around the stage and internally cringed when the musician, now packing up, made sure you were okay after your fall. 

Every once in a while you looked over to Eren. And, every time you did so, your eyes met, the stutter in your heart never resolving no matter how many times it happened. At last call, almost everyone was gone, only Eren and an older man on his phone left. 

Ymir called to you, asking for you to finish up organizing the bar now that you were done with the rest of the building. 

“I’ll handle the upstairs, that guy always leaves a fucking mess up there,” she muttered, referring to the act of the night. “I don’t know how, it’s just fucking him and nobody else. Slob.” 

You peered up at the slightly obscured second level of the building, remembering that you could go up there now too. Though it was nothing special, surely, knowing that a once off limits space was now available to you made you excited to explore it. 

The only other soul with you now was Eren, and you jumped at the opportunity to chat him up again, one on one, without Ymir’s glaring presence. 

“Thanks for keeping me company,” you said, looking at him before looking through your tips for the night. Meager, especially compared to Ymir, but still more than you expected on your first day. You technically hadn’t even served anyone that night. And you were most definitely choosing to forget your embarrassing fall. 

“Thanks for letting me stay,” Eren said, and you could hear the smile in his voice despite not looking at him. Eventually you had to sneak a peek, and watched as he let his hair loose from his bun so he could redo it, locks of brunette hair still falling around his face. 

The small talk that followed was surface level but still much appreciated. You were almost done at the bar, just waiting on Ymir, when another figure appeared from the back. You tensed up, nervous to see your new boss there. 

“Hey, Levi,” Eren greeted him cheerily. 

“Hi, Levi,” you repeated, though much more nervous. 

Levi didn’t greet either of you, but raised a brow at Eren and frowned, turning that frown to you with crossed arms. 

“We’re closed,” he reminded you, his tone flat but firm. “I didn’t know Eren worked here, too. What’s he still doing here?” 

“Sorry, sir,” you apologized, quick and nervous as ever around your new boss. You shot Eren a sorry glance as well, then turned back to Levi to take the blame, but Eren beat you to it. 

“My fault,” he laughed, standing from his seat, then winked at you. “I annoyed her all night, Levi.” 

Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, then gave you another look. “Don’t let it happen again, please. He’s out when everyone else is out. It happens again, you’re out with him.” 

“Won’t happen again,” both you and Eren replied, and although it made Eren laugh, it made you pale. Levi said nothing else and handed you a few handbooks as he’d promised at the start of your shift, for training purposes, and then disappeared to the back again without a goodbye. 

“Riding home with Ymir?” Eren asked as he tugged off the apron to hand it back, nodding to himself when you nodded in reply. “Cool. I’ll see you in a couple days.” His warm fingers brushed against yours as you took the apron back, your heart once again flipping, but hoped the reaction wasn’t apparent on your face. 

“I’ll be cheering you guys on.” 

You waved goodbye as he sauntered out, leaning against the bar and sighing heavily when he was out of sight. You took your own apron off and threw them on the hooks in the back, waiting for Ymir to finish up, all thoughts still with Eren. You really hadn’t expected to see him, at least not like that, not so soon. Everything about him was sweet and it was so easy to get to know him, to talk to him. By the time Ymir came back down to make you that secret shot of hers, it was no longer the favorite new thing of your night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm also on Tumblr (same username), so if you'd like to keep up with me there as well, feel free to follow.


	3. Turning Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, welcome back! Back with the third chapter! And with the third chapter comes, of course, the third song in the Musician!Eren playlist inspired by this series. Here's the tune for this chapter's vibes: 
> 
> **Show Me How - Men I Trust**
> 
> Enjoy!

The bar was as busy as the night you’d first met Eren, and with good reason. His band was set to play that night, which always guaranteed a full house. You were, admittedly, a little nervous when you stepped into the warehouse for your shift with Ymir, your designated trainer at this point. Seeing as you’d been training under calmer circumstances, the huge crowd intimidated you. Still, you were putting your skills from your other job to good use at the bar, which helped show huge improvements from your first day to now. The more complicated drinks still required Ymir’s assistance but you were really getting the hang of it and getting to know some of the more regular patrons. 

You’d barely clocked in and put your apron on when a familiar pair of green eyes caught yours as you started busying yourself around the bar counter; Eren’s stare almost made you forget you were currently spraying some soda into a glass, but you stopped just in time before it spilled over. You couldn’t have another embarrassing moment with him regarding spilled drinks. 

“I’m here for the first of my free drinks tonight,” he announced proudly, after waiting for you to hand the drink over to its waiting patron. You grinned and raised a brow, grabbing a new glass for him. 

“Already?” you teased, which earned a grin from him. “The usual, I’m guessing?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he confirmed. You could feel his eyes watching your every move as you stirred up a whiskey sour, sliding it over effortlessly like Ymir had finally taught you how to do. 

“And you know the drill,” you stage whispered as best as you could, given the ambient noise all around you that muted your voices. Stealthily, you handed over a small bowl of cherries, winking at him. “I definitely charged you for those.”

“Yes, you did,” he agreed, an impish grin spreading over his lips. He took a sip from his drink and then leaned in closer, waiting again as you took another order from another guest. “Hey, when do you go on break? You should come upstairs and hang out for a bit.” 

“Considering I just got here, my break’s not for a while,” you laughed, handing some shots of tequila over to the small group next to him. “But I think it’ll be after you guys play. I can come say some words of praise after.” 

“Cool,” he beamed, clearly pleased at that. He turned to look over his shoulder at the stage, nodding for you to look as well at the small band currently setting up. “The opening act tonight should be pretty good.” 

“Ymir says they’re...lively,” you admitted. Lively meaning _supremely loud_ ; you’d brought a pair of earplugs for the occasion. 

Eren laughed, about to respond, but you both froze when Levi came up from behind you to make himself a drink, busy in the back in his office. 

“Eren, stop pestering my employees,” he commanded, voice clear above the buzz of chatter around you. He turned to you with that steely gaze, raising a brow deftly before his face became neutral again as he lifted his scotch up to his lips. “Less chatting, more working.” 

“Yes, sir!” 

You turned to Eren, both of you smiling apologetically, and you called a quick, “I’ll see you on my break!” over your shoulder before getting back to work. 

You and Ymir kept up with the high volume of customers with hardly any complaint, except for the occasional grunts of fury from her when she had to deal with someone already a little too wasted, or having to make a complicated drink during such a rushed time. She was also pissed that your other coworker that was supposed to be there, Isabel, had called out last minute, but there was nothing to be done about that. Things died down when music actually started being played, and you took that as your cue to pop in your earplugs as you worked, still able to hear, just blissfully muffled. Surprisingly, it also helped with your tips. Leaning in a little closer to hear some random dude’s order likely made them get the wrong idea and they never noticed your earplugs, making it seem as though you were being a little flirty, which Ymir said to do shamelessly. “It’s how I get the best tips,” she had flaunted to you one night, fanning her stack of cash as you were closing up. “Guys are creeps and they’ll think you’re flirting with them anyway. Might as well earn some money for the trouble they cause.” 

Another flurry of groups bombarded you after the band, who were just as loud as Ymir had warned, finished their set. You were more prepared this time, following Ymir’s example and handing over drinks this way and that, letting her handle the more complicated orders and taking note of what she did with those. Your eyes wandered to the stage occasionally, where Eren and his bandmates - who you now knew as Connie and Reiner instead of Buzzcut and Muscles - were setting up for their own set. It was not lost on you that a tiny hoard of local fans were huddled around the stage and talking with them, and you, of course, happened to notice that the overwhelming majority of them were girls. All three were happily chatting back and interacting with them, Eren with that beaming smile that never faltered, his other two bandmates goofing off. Eren sat down cross-legged on the stage and crouched to talk with the group of girls once things were pretty much set up, with Reiner smacking him over the head and seemingly scolding him, but they were much too far for you to hear. 

The crowd was once again migrating back to the stage when it was clear that Eren’s band was about to start up for the night, leaving you and Ymir with a much more manageable bar to tend to. 

“Damn that Isabel for bailing on a night like this,” Ymir cursed for what felt like the hundredth time that night. “She’s got Levi wrapped around her little fucking finger...it’s so annoying.” 

You didn’t know Isabel that well, but could agree that Levi seemed to have a soft spot for her. Neither of you looked up from your respective chores as you rinsed off glasses and wiped down the counter, sliding drinks over when ordered and pocketing cash tips when given. Connie was introducing themselves, though no introduction was really needed - they were who everyone had come to see, after all. It wasn’t until the melody of their first song floated into the air that you plucked out your earplugs and dropped them back into a pocket of your apron, preferring the calmer vibes of Eren’s band to the first band by far. You didn’t even realize you were swaying to the beat until Ymir made fun of you for it, that small but mocking smirk on her face as she flicked some water at you. 

“I can’t believe you like that noise,” she snickered. “Or am I right to assume you’re just an Eren groupie now, too?” 

A blush blazed over your face and you flicked some water back at her, throwing a rag over your shoulder as you reorganized the liquor shelf. If the display didn’t look immaculate, Levi would throw a fit.

“Shut up, I’m not a groupie,” you retorted, albeit a bit lamely. You shrugged and fiddled around with two bottles of half-filled tequila, placing them back where you knew Levi wanted them. “I’m not really one to have a refined taste for anything, though. So maybe you’re right.” 

You turned around to face her just in time to see the pang of guilt flash through her eyes, which made you wince. Thankfully, someone had ordered another round of shots just then and took the attention away from your conversation, mercifully killing it before anything else had to be said. 

Still, even as you tried to shake off what Ymir had said and tried even harder to not let those past memories flood back, you found yourself unable to stop your heart from sinking and just couldn’t get back into the music. 

Your earplugs were back in by their third song of the night. 

Eren’s band finished their set a smidge after midnight, when everyone was either comfortably drunk or cut off by then, which meant that you weren’t bombarded by another huge wave of patrons once Eren and his mates said their farewells for the night and started packing up on stage. You hadn’t forgotten your promise to him earlier and began loading up a tray with drinks for them, stealthily taking out your earplugs and hiding them in your apron once again. 

“Go take a break first, I can handle it by myself for fifteen minutes,” Ymir assured you, waving you off, then backtracked and grabbed your upper arm forcefully before you could run off. “Actually, make it twenty minutes. You did good, take an extra five, I’ll be fine.” 

You knew what this was, despite Ymir’s almost perfect disguise of it with her harsh tone and hard eyes. It was sympathy, an apology for dredging up emotions earlier, and you weren’t going to let Ymir do that. 

“Fifteen,” you told her, carefully wriggling your arm out of her grasp. “See you soon.” 

“If I see you back here in fifteen instead of twenty, I’ll hit you!” she called after you. 

Truthfully, five more minutes to hang out with Eren did sound enticing. You hadn’t forgotten your promise earlier and had been looking forward to it all night. Now, you were hurrying up to the second floor of the warehouse as best as you could with the tray of drinks you were carrying, happy to see that Eren and his bandmates were already at their favorite table there, joined by Connie’s girlfriend, Sasha. They were chatting away, their adrenaline still clearly pulsing through them as they laughed loudly and chatted away, and when they turned to look at you as you called out a greeting, they brightened when they saw you and their favorite drinks. 

“I come bearing gifts!” 

“Always coming in clutch with the booze!” Connie greeted you, wasting no time in retrieving his favorite concoction of vodka and soda before you could even place the tray on the table. 

Reiner took his pint of beer and gave you a friendly smile, scooting the empty chair next to him towards you. Thankfully, that empty chair was between him and Eren, and you gratefully slumped down onto it after placing the tray in the center of the table. 

“Sorry, Sasha, I didn’t realize you were here tonight. I would have brought you something, too,” you apologized to the brunette, but she flashed you a cheery smile and shook her head. 

“Don’t worry, I’m acting as DD tonight anyway,” she assured you, nudging Connie playfully. “We don’t have any Uber money right now.” 

“We would if you’d quit it with the Uber _Eats_ ,” Connie snorted, which earned a harder jab to his side from her. 

“You guys were great tonight,” you complimented them, but your eyes were on Eren now, on his second whiskey sour of the night. They all said their thanks, and as Eren was about to speak up again to talk to you, he was interrupted by a small trio of girls, led by a dark-haired one that immediately greeted Eren. 

“Hey, Eren.” Her voice was melodic and feminine, and you admired the glossiness of her hair and how she presented herself as both soft and yet purposeful. 

He immediately launched into a conversation with her and you awkwardly sat and watched for a minute, before Eren suddenly stopped himself and introduced you. 

“This is Mikasa, and that’s Mina, and that’s Hitch,” Eren said to you, pointing each one out. He introduced you to them after, and you smiled brightly and waved. 

“You work here, right?” Hitch asked, and you nodded. 

“Yeah, just started,” you confirmed, fiddling with your hands. They were all kind, but you always felt you were so bad at first impressions. Thankfully, Eren came to your rescue. 

“She’s a natural at bartending. And she’ll always sneak you some extra cherries, just ask,” he cut in, and you found yourself blushing at his words. 

“Hey, wait, is that offer on the table for all of us?” you heard Sasha pipe up, followed by Connie’s, “Babe, _no_.” 

“Just don’t abuse the privilege and I’ll do my best,” you laughed, easing into the conversation slowly, but you still found yourself wishing that you could drink right now and that you weren’t clocked in at your job. 

The remainder of your break mostly consisted of sitting back and watching Eren, Reiner, and Connie chat up the three girls, who you came to realize had been following their music nearly since the beginning. Mikasa, you learned, had a part-time job at the university’s radio station with Eren’s best friend, Armin, who had shown her a few songs to maybe play on the station. They were always striving to look for local and underground artists, as their radio’s ability to play hits was limited, and Mikasa had taken a strong liking and pushed to play the band’s songs. 

“Mikasa and Armin are kind of the reason we even have fans,” Eren explained to you, and you could tell from the look in his eyes that he was grateful. 

“I’m glad they could help. You guys are talented, it’s well-deserved recognition,” you told him with a smile. The alarm on your phone that signaled the end of your break buzzed in your pocket, and you sighed as you disabled it and got up, clearing up the table and balancing the tray of empty glasses in one hand as you waved a goodbye to the group. 

“Again, great show, you guys,” you told the three boys, then turned to the three girls you’d just met. “And really nice meeting all of you! I hope I see you around.” 

With that, you were headed back downstairs, clearing off the tray and already pushing Ymir to take a break of her own. The place was slowly clearing out, especially with last call steadily approaching in less than an hour, and you knew you could handle whatever patrons did saunter over to you while Ymir was gone. 

Your thoughts went back to the people upstairs and though you tried not to admit it to yourself, it did bum you out that Eren hadn’t come down with you to keep you company like he normally would have. You’d quickly grown accustomed to having him around at the bar, but he was naturally always going to be busier after one of his shows. For a split second your mind wandered back to Eren and Mikasa, but the thought left as quickly as it came as you physically shook it out. 

_Why am I even concerned about that?_ The thought puzzled you. Eren was your friend. Admittedly, you didn’t know him that well yet, so you didn’t need to concern yourself with that kind of stuff. 

Ymir came back from her break and the two of you set to starting up the closing process, Ymir yelling for last call when it came, people slowly filing out after closing out tabs and taking advantage of a final round of shots to finish their night. Mikasa, Hitch, and Mina all waved goodbye to you as they filed out as well and you happily waved back and wished them a good night, eyes flickering to the stage where you saw Eren, Reiner, and Connie grabbing their things, along with the other band. They were chatting together and you grabbed a broom to start sweeping, using that as an excuse to wander over when Eren beckoned you with a wave. 

“We’ll get out of your hair soon, don’t worry,” he said, guitar in hand. He perked up and then knelt down on the stage so he was more to your level, though you still had to look up at him, and he tilted his head as he asked, “Wanna hear something new I’ve been working on? Haven’t shown anyone but Connie and Reiner.” 

“Hell yeah I do,” you beamed, resting your chin on the tip of the broom’s handle as Eren adjusted the strap of his guitar around his back. He faltered for a moment and peeked at you shyly, sitting cross-legged as his fingers naturally found the strings of his guitar. 

“It’s nowhere near being done, just an idea, so don’t judge me if it’s awful right now. I still need to work out some kinks in the tune and stuff, and the lyrics are still coming to me-” he rambled, but you cut him off by laughing and pretending to swat at him with your broom. 

“I’ll love it no matter what, I promise,” you said, getting back to sweeping as you waited for him to start. 

Eren took a deep breath and then his fingers strummed a song to life, a dreamy one that wasn’t too fast, too slow, and immediately had you captivated, stalling your chores as your attention shifted. Though you’d heard how his voice could ensnare people’s attention, the soft breathiness of it for this new song had you listening more intently, eyes only on him as he performed for you. 

Your body moved towards him and you hopped up to sit on the stage next to Eren, leaning the broom against the edge and giving him your full attention. This seemed to encourage him and you heard him grow more confident, the lyrics flowing with the strums of his guitar, before he came to a stop, a few more notes leaving his guitar after his voice died out. 

“Can’t figure out the chorus yet,” he admitted, shrugging casually. 

“Eren...that’s really good,” you blurted out, then quickly followed up with, “I mean, I’m not musically inclined at all, but I _love_ it so far.” 

He looked at you curiously then, looking like he was about to say something, but Ymir called you over right as Reiner kneeled down between the two of you and clapped Eren on the back. 

“Come on, Jaeger, you never help with the damn gear,” he scolded, helping Eren to his feet. He softened with you and rolled his eyes at Eren, shaking his head. “I don’t know why he thinks he can’t help us move our crap around. Diva.” 

“Shut it, Braun,” Eren retorted, but turned to give you a smile as you hopped off the stage and got back to sweeping. “See you soon.” 

“See you soon,” you repeated, saluting him playfully and finishing up your chores around the rest of the bar and upstairs. 

As you were counting out tips with Ymir, her phone buzzed loudly and she pulled it out of her pocket to glance at it, her brows furrowing. 

“Ah, fuck,” she hissed, frustration lacing her words, and you glanced at her worriedly. 

“What happened, is everything okay?” 

“Christa popped a tire,” she sighed, tugging at her ponytail in agitation. “Says she’s not even close to either of our apartments.” 

“What is she even doing out right now? It’s two-thirty in the morning!” Your heart skipped a beat, worried for Christa as well, especially at this time of night. 

“She was trying to be nice and grab us something to eat,” Ymir sighed, foot tapping impatiently against the concrete floor as she typed out a response to her girlfriend. “I’m telling her we’re almost done and then I’m headed straight to where she is. So let’s hurry the fuck up.” 

“No way, I can handle the rest, go now,” you urged. “I don’t want her out there alone, either.” 

“Idiot, we drove here together, remember? I can’t just leave _you_ here,” she reminded you, though you could tell that she was impatient and bothered by having to wait. And, truth be told, you really didn’t like the idea of Christa alone somewhere unfamiliar, with a car that couldn’t get her anywhere safely. 

“Ymir, it’s fine, I’ll just order an Uber or something. Seriously, I can handle this.” 

“Okay.” Ymir didn’t hesitate to take you up on the offer, nearly throwing off her apron as she hurried out. There wasn’t much left to do, granted, but the thought of Christa being vulnerable left a heavy feeling in your chest. The sooner Ymir could get to her, the better. 

Once the final steps in your closing routine were completed and you double checked that everything was in order, you put up your apron after calling out a goodbye to Levi, who was most definitely still working in his office, and walked out to the front of the bar, phone in hand and ready to order a ride home for the night. As the app pulled up, a rustle to your left made you freeze, peripheral vision catching a dark figure pushing away from the wall of the warehouse to come near you. 

You immediately stepped away from them but the sound of your name confused you momentarily. They knew you? The panic only dissipated when Eren stepped out of the shadow of night and into the neon light of the bar’s signage, eliciting a deep sigh of relief from you. 

“You’re so creepy in the dark,” you complained, but the relief was evident in your voice. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Eren said, sincere in his apologetic puppy eyes. His skin illuminated against the neon blue and electrified the color of his eyes. “Are you okay? I saw Ymir rushing out as we were packing our stuff up in Reiner’s truck.” 

“Yeah, her girlfriend popped a tire and needed her,” you explained. “She drove me here, though, since we carpool, and I’m just ordering a ride home.” 

Eren shook his head at that immediately. “Fuck that, I don’t want you riding by yourself at this time of night. Let me drive you home.” 

“Oh, no, it’s probably out of your way -” you started to protest, but Eren wasn’t having it, shaking his head again, this time more fervently. 

“I want to, seriously,” he said, then gestured for you to follow him. After a moment’s deliberation, you decided this was most definitely your safest - and most desired - outcome for the night, and allowed him to lead you towards an older Jeep towards the back entrance used by a lot of bands to haul their stuff in and out. 

You climbed into the passenger seat once the car was unlocked and buckled your seatbelt as he started up the Jeep and typed your address into his phone’s GPS, taking a deep breath before turning to him with a grateful gaze. “Thanks, Eren...this is really nice of you.” Upon a quick look around of the parking lot, you tilted your head curiously and looked at him as he pulled out of his parking spot and towards the road. “When did Connie and Reiner leave? Just now? I didn’t realize it took so long to load and unload your stuff.” 

It was too dark so you couldn’t be certain, and maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you after a long night of work, but even from the faint glow of the dashboard and the occasional passing streetlight, you swore that a blush had seeped into Eren’s cheeks. 

“They left around the time Ymir did. But you didn’t come out with her, so I just stuck around to make sure you were okay,” he admitted quietly. But when he briefly glanced away from the road to look at you, he got stern, raising a brow. “And I’m glad I did.” 

It was your turn to blush, and you ducked your head and bit your lip. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked out for you like that. 

“When do you work next?” Eren asked suddenly. You had to think about it for a moment; you were off tomorrow, finally, then had a shift at your day job the next two days after your day off.

“Not until Wednesday night, why?” 

“Just wondering.” At the red light just before the turn into your apartment complex, he turned to grin at you, and you could see the impishness behind it. 

“Levi’s going to get so tired of you always being there,” you teased him, catching on. 

“He’s _been_ tired of me,” Eren chuckled, turning into your complex when his GPS told him to and when you confirmed. He stopped in front of your building and your mood dampened as you realized your time with him was up. You unbuckled your seatbelt slowly, milking every last second, but you stopped when you felt his eyes on you and moved your gaze to him. 

“What?” you asked, a little shy when you realized he didn’t look away or lose the intensity of his stare once you’d turned to him. 

“Nothin’, just like lookin’ at you,” he said casually, and without missing a beat. Your heart, however, did skip a beat, and you nuzzled into your left shoulder to press a smile into it. 

“Thanks again for driving me home,” you whispered, half of your face still hidden in your shoulder. Eren reached over suddenly and you tensed as his fingers touched your phone, his eyes asking for permission, and you loosened your grip on it to grant that permission to allow him to grab it.

“I’m gonna give you my number in case you ever need a ride home again. And also, it’d be nice to hang out with you _outside_ of the bar.” He was still trying to sound casual, but you could sense the faltering in his tone, the dead giveaway to his shyness. After saving his contact information, he called himself on your phone so he had your number too, and that made you smile again. He gave you back your phone with a smile that was unbelievably shy, your heart sputtering all over again. 

“Bye, Eren,” you whispered, but it still sounded so loud in his car. You reached to open the door, eyes only leaving his when you needed to hop out, and you closed the door and waved to him before heading to the entrance of your building. 

There was no sound of a car driving away and you turned to glance over your shoulder, surprised to see Eren still there, waiting for you to be safely in your apartment. You waved one more time to let him know you were good, and shook your head to yourself as you stepped inside. Eren didn’t leave until you were actually in, slowly pulling away from your building to head home. When was the last time someone had been so thoughtful? 

You headed to your unit in a daze, astounded by his kindness, and typed out a quick thank you to the new contact in your phone. It was also half of an excuse to just be able to text him, now that you finally had the means to. 

And after checking in with Ymir and Christa to make sure _they_ were okay, you got ready for bed and lied awake until your phone buzzed, Eren’s name lighting up the screen. 

**Sweet dreams.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Reminder that I'm also on Tumblr (writertitan) in case you'd like to keep up with me there!


	4. College Radio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, friends!! Fourth chapter is up and running and it's one of my favorites out of the whole series. And, without further ado, let's also add in the next song from the Musician!Eren playlist that correlates with this chapter's vibes: 
> 
> **Resonance - Home**
> 
> Happy reading!

A rare night with nothing but peace and quiet, aside from the ambient buzz of interactions between the patrons of the bar. It should have made you happy, not having to take out your earplugs and tune out the constant stream of shows up on stage, pretending to be unbothered. It didn’t. If anything, it bothered you more not being able to keep up the habit. 

Or maybe you were bothered that Eren wasn’t playing tonight with his band. 

Or maybe you were bothered that Eren hadn’t shown up tonight just to hang out. 

You shook the thought out of your mind, frown even deeper now, and proceeded to wash a cup a little _too_ aggressively as you tried to push it all out of your head. As much as you liked hanging out with him and having a new friend, experiencing another refreshing change in your life, you didn’t like the old patterns and ideas that were being dredged up. 

A quick check for the time on your phone let you know it was ten minutes until last call. You had picked things up at work enough to earn the trust and confidence of your employer and fellow employees to take the closing shift by yourself tonight, but you knew they had only accepted because it was a slow Tuesday night and nobody was performing, so there wouldn’t be a “high chance of a shitshow”, as Levi had so eloquently put it. Even he had decided to take the night off. Still, it was nice to work alone and gain more experience that way, and also have moments alone. Between working two jobs, having a roommate with a constantly present girlfriend that you _also_ worked with, a semblance of a social life, and your quest to try something new every day, it was tough to find some time alone. You were starting to remember why that was, though; why you were so careful to fill your days. 

You weren’t as good at yelling for last call like Ymir, but you were getting better. A few customers took advantage, but most were slowly getting ready to head out before closing. As you poured out some beer on tap for a semi-regular named Mike, you were surprised to find that someone had come _into_ the bar, just in time for last call. 

“Hey.” Eren’s familiar voice was calm and he looked a little smug as he caught your eye, giving a small wave. “Hope I’m not too late for a drink.” 

A little flutter in your stomach at the realization that he’d come to see you after all made it hard to tease him convincingly. “Made it by the skin of your teeth.” 

Eren laughed, the smile on his lips never faltering, rather widening, at the sight of you making his favorite drink. You slid it over easily and then helped Mike close out, pocketing his tip before turning back to Eren, your elbows on the counter as you rested your chin on the palm of your hand. 

“You’re quite the night owl. Don’t you have anything better to do?” you asked, a playful note to your tone, as was common when speaking to Eren. 

“Nope,” was his easy reply, which made you smile fondly at him. “I texted you to let you know I was coming. Didn’t you get it?” 

Had he really? Your texting conversations had become more common since you’d gotten each other’s numbers, but you’d just checked your phone not too long ago to check for last call. You pried your phone out of your apron in confusion and checked, then huffed and showed him the screen with the notification of his text displayed. 

“You mean the text you just sent three minutes ago? You don’t give anyone any kind of warning, huh? Just coming in hot,” you snorted, leaving your phone on the counter as you started prepping for close. 

“You think I’m hot?” he teased, which immediately flustered you. 

“I think you’re annoying,” you told him, throwing the rag you’d been using at his face. It fell from his face to showcase that impish grin that was so Eren. 

As the last of your customers trickled out, your doorman and bouncer for the night came to say goodnight and help himself to some nuts. You noticed his unimpressed glance to Eren, an eyebrow raised as he chewed thoughtfully before turning back to you. 

“Don’t let Eren stay too long,” he reminded you. “Your boss will throw a fuckin’ fit.” 

It fascinated you that everyone here seemed to know Eren. 

“I know the drill by now,” you assured him, turning to give the man of the hour a faux-stern look. “And that drink’s not on the house tonight.” 

It was a joke, really, since you knew it wouldn’t really matter, but Eren humored you by slapping down a wad of cash with a cocky, “Keep the change.” 

The doorman didn’t stick around to watch the banter, and waved half-heartedly once he knew you were fine for the night and didn’t need him anymore. Eren got more serious with you after that, his eyes sweeping over the entirety of the empty bar.

“Just you tonight?” he asked, and you nodded. “Need a ride or anything?” 

“Thanks, but I’m all good. I drove here,” you assured him, then gave him a sweet smile. “Sorry, I know you just got here, but I have to kick you out.” 

“I know,” he said with that bright smile of his, hopping off the stool and playing a bit with the messy bun at the nape of his neck. He looked nervous for a second and you stopped what you were doing to give him a questioning glance, eyebrows raised slightly, and he cleared his throat as if trying to find the words. 

“You okay?” you asked with a small laugh, hands on your hips. 

Eren was quiet for a few moments, rubbing the back of his neck while eyes searched yours, his gaze full of some type of conflict you couldn’t quite place. Finally, he seemed to decide something and sighed audibly, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“Nothing. I’m gonna wait outside for you and walk you to your car. Who knows what kinda creeps are roaming out there tonight.” 

You were about to protest and felt your face get hot, but you kept your mouth shut and shooed him off before he could see how flustered he had you. It was so easy for him to get you worked up and he didn’t even realize it. You just couldn’t fathom it. What was probably a little thing for Eren, just a simple common courtesy of walking a girl to her car, was something major to you. In fact, you’d been wracking your brain to think of the last time a guy had done something for you like this without expecting anything in return. You couldn’t come up with anything, which was a little depressing. 

_It always comes with a price_ , your brain whispered to you cruelly, and you frowned and shrugged the negative thoughts away as you closed up and then walked out to find Eren. He was standing beneath the neon sign by the front entrance, bathing in the vibrant color, and immediately turned to you with that happy gleam in his eyes. 

“Thanks for walking me out. You didn’t have to,” you told him as you fished your keys out of your bag. You leaned against your door after unlocking it, giving Eren a small smile that you hoped didn’t betray the sadness of having to leave him already. 

Just like in the bar, Eren said nothing, his eyes clouding with that peculiar conflict again. He looked down at his feet, hands in the pockets of his hoodie, and then swallowed thickly. Your breath caught in your throat when he looked at you from under his lashes with a piercing stare, a pleading stare, and he shifted his weight as he rushed his question out all in one breath. 

“Do you want to go somewhere with me?” 

It took a moment for the words to actually register in your head. Your hands fell to your sides, keys jangling, and Eren stared at you expectantly.

“Nothing fishy,” he suddenly blurted out, a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “I just realized that could have been taken the wrong way. I just want to hang out with you for a little while. Do you want to?” 

Finally it all seemed to settle in your mind. Eren also felt that there hadn’t been enough time spent together yet. And he was asking you to do something about it. And you were just standing there. 

“Let’s go somewhere,” you replied, your answer just as hurried as Eren’s question. “My car or yours?” 

“Mine,” Eren decided, taking your keys to lock your car again. You snatched them back playfully and dropped them into your bag, following him to his Jeep and climbing in once he unlocked it, your mind going a million miles an hour, thoughts jumping this way and that. What were you guys going to do? It was so late, nothing would really be open, right? It didn’t really matter. Even just a drive around your small college town would be fun. Still, Eren seemed to have an agenda, eyes glinting with determination as he drove, and you settled back comfortably and watched the streetlights shine on empty roads and sidewalks. 

“Where are we going? Have anything in mind?” you finally asked. 

“You’ll see.” And then it was quiet again. 

The radio was tuned into a station that you didn’t recognize but the music was good, not a station that played any hits. 

“Is this the station that your friends run? The college one?” It dawned on you once the familiar tune of one of Eren’s songs started playing and he grinned, glancing at your briefly, seemingly proud that you remembered. 

“Yeah, this is the college’s station,” he confirmed, but there was something in his voice that let you know there was a little more to it, like you were catching on to something. 

“Is that where we’re going?” you asked slowly, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. 

“Not quite,” Eren admitted, but he flashed you another smile. “I wanna show you something.” 

He parked his car along the street not even a few minutes later in a familiar part of town. There was a bowling alley across the street from where Eren parked, a diner that was always open right next door, and now you were gazing at the line of small local stores in front of you, with Eren leading you to the records store that adjoined the thrift store you frequented. 

He pulled out his keys and let you both in with that sly grin, winking at you as he closed the door behind you and guided you further inside. 

“I’ve never been in here before,” you admitted, looking around in wonder. Records were lined up on shelves, piled in crates, and some funky posters were tacked onto the brick walls throughout the small space. It was dimly lit, save for some string lights that were strung along the entire store, and some floor lamps. 

“Business isn’t really booming,” Eren sighed, leaning against the counter towards the side where the cash register sat. 

“Do you work here?” It suddenly made a lot of sense. And, truth be told, you saw Eren here perfectly. Seeing him there, leaning against the sales counter and watching you...he was an extension of the place. 

“Yeah, I pick up shifts here. Between this, our gigs, and my personal lessons, I’m a real starving artist,” he joked. 

“Very honorable,” you laughed, eyes not on him but on the hundreds of records that surrounded you. As you browsed through some in a crate, you absently divulged, “I know what it’s like to take any work you can get.” 

“Do you have other jobs?” Eren questioned, head cocked to the side curiously, and it occurred to you that he didn’t know that your bartending was only a side job in the grand scheme of things. 

“Yeah, I do,” you told him with a small smile, then held up a clearly ancient record detailing nothing but opera music. “Very exquisite tastes in your store, I might add.” 

Eren grinned and walked over to take the record from you, reading it over and not looking at you as he said, “I didn’t take you for an opera person. You know, seeing as you seem to not really be a fan of music in general.”

“Since when did I say I wasn’t a fan of music?” you asked, nearly guffawing at his opinion, but you already knew what he was getting at. 

Eren raised a brow at you as he put the record back, crossing his arms over his chest. “So the noise-cancelling headphones, the earplugs, the blatant admission of not being musically inclined. That’s you loving music?” 

“Well, when you put it that way…,” you grumbled, shying away from his gaze. You still didn’t meet his eyes as you feebly perused through more records, but you weren’t actually paying attention to them. When Eren called your name, you still didn’t look at him. 

“It’s not a big deal or anything and I’m sorry if I made you feel bad. I’ve just never met someone who actively _avoids_ music,” Eren explained. 

You hated when stuff like this came up. To have to think of _him_ and be reminded of those parts of yourself that you couldn’t seem to scrape back together...it was humiliating and made your heart sore all over again. But, seeing the way Eren looked at you with so much curiosity, his eyes filled with the desire to understand you, it eased your pain. It made the walls crumble just a bit. You always tensed up when you even got near the thought of him, but you made yourself relax as you finally met Eren’s gaze, biting at the corner of your lip before finally answering him.

“I’m just...kind of embarrassed by my music taste,” you revealed quietly, fiddling with a few records between your fingers. “My, um...my ex-boyfriend would make fun of what I listened to all the time.” 

The understanding dawned on Eren quickly and he frowned, completely still as he watched you. He said nothing, which filled you with dread, but you finally broke your gaze and shrugged as you let your face melt into an expression of indifference to hide your discomfort. 

“That’s all there is to it. Didn’t mean to bum you out.” 

Another heavy silence passed until Eren walked over to be beside you, tugging on your arm. 

“Lay down with me.” 

“Why?” 

“Just do it.” 

So you did, shoulder brushing against Eren’s as your back pressed into the hard floor of the store, and you instantly found yourself smiling softly as your eyes found the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. 

“Those are cool,” you whispered. “Nice touch.” 

“I’m sorry about your douche ex,” Eren whispered back. “He sounds mean.” 

“He was,” came your reply, an even quieter whisper than before. “I didn’t realize how mean until it was too late. He said I had no taste for anything and that I was boring and unoriginal. Always made me feel inferior to him, too. I don’t know why I didn’t realize that wasn’t normal. I guess because he did it in such a sneaky way, where I didn’t notice until suddenly I found myself thinking those same things about myself. He broke up with me because he said he got bored of me. I wasn’t exciting enough, I guess.” 

“Fuck him,” Eren hissed, and you were surprised at the venom that was poured into those words. Surprised, but appreciative. 

“Yeah, fuck him,” you agreed, hands on your stomach, your eyes still on the stars. “I wish I could say I was all better, but I’m still trying to prove to myself that I’m not dull. And I don’t know how to take up doing the things I love again. It all still makes me feel...boring. Or like I’m embarrassing. Music's been the hardest thing to come back to. Sometimes I still catch people looking at me with pity because of it. And I’m afraid if I look at you right now, you’ll be looking at me like that, too.” 

The last part you hadn’t really meant to blurt out like that, but it was true all the same. Fear had knotted into your chest and your stomach at the thought of turning your head only to find that same pitiful gaze that always made you feel pathetic. Eren’s finger poked at your cheek, urging you to look at him silently, and you steeled yourself, prepared to see that look only to find…

Kind, green eyes that reflected some of the string lights, and held not an ounce of pity. 

It felt as though you had the wind knocked out of you, breath stuck in your lungs and in your throat, unable to look away. 

“Hold on a sec. I’m gonna show you my favorite song,” Eren told you quietly, pulling out his phone inexplicably as he started typing something out. You waited for music to flow out of the speakers, but he set his phone down on his stomach and turned to you with a grin before hopping back on his feet. He gave you a stern look when you tried to get up as well, shaking his head. “Stay there. I’ll be back.” 

You sat up anyway and watched Eren fiddle around at the counter, and you jumped as you heard a bit of static start up in the store’s speakers. Eventually, the static shifted into the fading ending of a song. Eren came back to lie down with you, smirking proudly. 

“Armin’s at the studio right now,” he explained. “He promised to play my song next.” 

“They work that late?” you asked incredulously, and Eren laughed. 

“Not usually, but he’s a nerd that signed up for the summer semester and has a test coming up, so he’s there to study. Calms him down. And he promised to play _your_ favorite song next.” 

“Mine?” Your eyes widen, a little due to panic, a little due to shock. “Why mine?” 

“Because you’re gonna tell me what it is and I’m gonna text it to Armin so he can queue it up after mine,” he answered casually with a shrug of his shoulders. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

You felt your face heat up at the thought. It was supposedly something so benign. Just a simple thing, telling someone your favorite song. But it was a big deal for _you_. Those past feelings that still poked and prodded at you, taunted you, reminded you of the possibility of ridicule. Eren caught on quickly. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I have a feeling that I’m going to really like it.” 

You eased up and offered a timid smile, mulling it over for a moment. Your favorite song immediately came to the forefront of your mind. There was no second thought about it. There was only the small anxiety that now associated itself with opening up about your interests with others. You told Eren the name of the song, resting your arms behind your head as you watched him type something out, presumably to Armin. 

A new song started up and Eren perked up, nudging you as he put his phone away. “This one’s my favorite.” 

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, the song settling into the air. It was beautiful and you hadn’t expected anything less. You had wanted to make a joke about being surprised Eren hadn’t picked one of his own songs, but the mood wasn’t like that right now. It was serious in a comforting kind of way; both of you were being truly vulnerable with one another. So you stayed quiet and listened. You tried to memorize the song, the ebbs and flows, and turned to watch how Eren was reacting. It was mildly surprising that his eyes were already on you but you didn’t break eye contact. You saw the hint of nervousness in his gaze that you knew would transfer to your own once your song played, and it was a refreshing reminder that everyone had insecurities about presenting who they were to people, not just you. 

When Eren’s song faded into yours, you bit your lip and watched his reaction, searching for any emotion at all. When the corners of his lips tilted up into a smile, your anxieties and past fears washed away and you returned his smile genuinely, only now realizing how close you were. Arms touching as you laid together, knees and feet tapping against each other sometimes when one of you shifted to get more comfortable. His face was only inches from your eyes and you could see every detail of it even in the dim lighting; green eyes still somehow so vibrant, sunkissed skin smooth and faintly rouged at his cheeks, tendrils of dark hair mussed around his face. 

“This might turn into my new favorite song,” he murmured. 

“You can’t steal my favorite song,” you whispered back. 

When Eren leaned forward, your eyes fluttered closed. Instead of lips touching, you felt his nose gently brush against yours, back and forth, his top lip only faintly ghosting over yours. An Eskimo kiss. You swallowed thickly and willed your heart to be quiet; it was beating so hard that you were sure Eren could hear it. You put your hand over your chest to feel it, to feel the exhilaration, the aftermath of his touch. 

“Thanks for showing me,” he said, voice still low and almost in your ear. 

“Thanks for not laughing,” you replied, still breathless from Eren’s innocent little affection. Such a pure, inconsequential action, but the intimacy of it, the closeness, had overwhelmed you. 

You turned back to look at the glow-in-the-dark stars, childishly making a wish on them in your mind. 

_I wish for things to only get better from here._

Your eyes closed again and you let yourself drift off a bit, not caring about how the hard floor made your back ache, not caring that you were in the middle of a records store, not caring about anything aside from the fact that Eren was beside you and you were listening to your favorite song with him and you were more at ease than you had been in the last six months. 

You let yourself doze off, just for a moment, and because of that, you didn’t notice that Eren was staring at you.


	5. With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 5! Can't believe we're almost halfway done. As always, here's the next song in the Musician!Eren Loud Places playlist that coincides with this chapter's vibes: 
> 
> **Let Me Follow - Son Lux**
> 
> Enjoy!

The buzz of your phone broke your attention from your breakfast, though you already knew exactly who it was. Grabbing your phone, you unlocked it and immediately tapped into Eren’s most recent text. 

**_What are you doing today?_ **

You’d be lying to yourself if you said your heart didn’t skip a beat at the question. Though the past few weeks had been filled with Eren, there was never enough time with him. Spending time with the boy was intoxicating, addicting, and you always felt your mood drop the moment you had to come to terms with the pending goodbyes once your day together was done. The unspoken promise of seeing each other again was the balm that soothed you. 

If you weren’t at work or running off due to other pre-planned outings, you were most likely with Eren. Needless to say, you’d grown extremely close. Attached at the hip, practically. Slowly but surely, he was worming his way into your life as someone you really cared for and were close to. And, if you were being honest with yourself, that terrified you. 

You stared at the text for a moment, setting down your glass of juice to quickly text back. 

**_It’s my day off, I’m freeeeee to do whatever_ **

Setting your phone down, you stared down at your bowl of oatmeal, biting the inside of your cheek nervously before forcing another bite. Did you want to see Eren? Of course you did. You always did. And that’s what was starting to scare you. 

It had been a while since you’d fallen into such a constant routine with someone. It had been a while since you’d let yourself get close to someone, period. And now that you were here, willingly spending all your time with Eren, and noticing little things that were building up. 

The way the two of you would always lean into each other. 

The way he’d catch you looking at him and tease you about staring. 

The way you swore you felt his eyes on you when you weren’t looking at him. 

The little touches of his nose to yours in that dangerous eskimo kiss that had become some sort of habit of his. 

Part of you wanted to keep that up, to keep escalating and escalating until you reached a heaven where Eren was more than just your fast friend that you already felt so tied to. 

And then there was the other part of you that saw another heaven, in which you and Eren stayed friends and grew closer as friends, and you didn’t have to worry about screwing anything up, because deep down, your entire being was telling you that letting things escalate would screw this up. 

Would you rather keep this new friend, this good friend, and let that little flame that was aching to spark, flicker out? 

Or would you rather let the spark ignite? 

You’d talked to Eren more extensively about your ex since the night at the records store, and he knew enough about the damage your ex had caused. You hadn’t dated anyone since and hadn’t even really thought about it. Until now, anyway, while you were constantly grappling with yourself about what kind of future you preferred with Eren. 

To let the spark flicker to life, or to let the spark flicker out and die? 

“To be or not to be,” you sighed to yourself, stirring your oatmeal around pensively. The buzz of your phone breaking through your thoughts once again. And, once again, you felt that familiar pounding in your chest as you tapped into your text conversation with Eren. 

**_Cool, can I pick you up at noon-ish? Wanna see you_ **

You smiled at that and typed out a quick _yes_ to confirm, checking the time before putting your phone back on the table. It was 10:30, which gave you enough time to get ready - and also to fight yourself on what was going on with you and Eren. 

Now in more of a time constraint than before, you hurried and finished your breakfast to really get your day started. A quick shower later, you were picking out your outfit and pulling it on while still engaging with Eren via text. Your phone chimed again with another message from him, a meme, and you chuckled at the contents before sending one back. 

So easy. It was just so easy with him. So why did it also feel so hard? 

11:45 illuminated your screen as the time once you were ready for your day out. Knowing Eren, and knowing yourself, you’d probably be out most of the day, so you left a little note on the kitchen table for Christa in case she came back before you did. For a split second, as you eyed the little note and drummed your fingers on the table, you wished Christa was there right this instant instead of at work. The slow budding of feelings for Eren was a secret you were burying in yourself and you hadn’t dared utter them out, not even to her. But if anyone could give you some sound advice, you knew it would be Christa. 

11:55. You checked out your hair in the mirror by the front door and then moved to sit on the couch, playing around on your phone to distract yourself from waiting and distract yourself from the growing nerves. Knowing Eren, he would be a little late anyway. 

Proving you right, he texted you that he was outside of your building a few minutes past twelve. You made your way down and hopped into the passenger seat of his Jeep easily, having now done it dozens of times before, and greeted him with a casual smile. 

“Hey there, stranger.” 

He looked the same as he did almost every day, hair in that constant bun and green eyes radiant as he greeted you, but there was just something about how he looked today that made him just look...good. Better. Or maybe it was just your perception. Now that you were really getting scared by your feelings, he just looked more enticing. 

“So, where are we going today?” you asked him as you buckled up, Eren already pulling back into the road. 

“I was thinking we could pick up a quick lunch and eat in the park. It’s gonna be a really nice day today, not supposed to be as hot like the rest of the week has been,” he said. The idea sounded amazing and you always enjoyed a nice day at the park. The one by the campus was lovely and provided great shade from the expanse of tall trees. 

The time in the car was spent just catching up on what you’d missed during the whopping two days you hadn’t seen each other. Eren spoke of band practice and looking through classes to enroll in for the fall semester, and you spoke of some crazy work stories and the fight you’d gotten into with Ymir about how to fold the bath towels in your own apartment. You barely register that Eren’s parked in front of a convenience store, but the conversation doesn’t stop, only pauses as you get out of the car and then resumes once you’re side by side and walking inside to pick out some items for lunch. 

This particular location was known for their chicken salad sandwiches and their grilled cheeses (so simple but you and everyone else were convinced they had some sort of secret formula going on), which made your perusing quick and painless. You picked up a little impromptu picnic made up of grilled cheeses, sparkling waters, dried fruit, and some candy bars as small desserts. 

Back in the car and heading toward the park, Eren was now leading the conversation, this time talking about the show at your bar’s venue this coming weekend. You were excited for it and so was he; they’d come up with a new song they wanted to try out there first, to see the reception, and tune it up from there. Their process was a little unusual but cool to see, and you were secretly excited to be one of the first people to hear it. 

“Is this the song you showed me that one time?” you asked Eren while he parked into the first empty space he could find. The question, for whatever reason, made him blush. He shook his head, turning off the ignition.

“Nope, this one’s brand new and all of us brainstormed it together one night.”

He helped carry your lunch along with a ratty, tattered blanket he reserved just for these park outings, a comfortable silence falling over the two of you as you focused on setting up under a tree. The park was, unsurprisingly, packed with people today. As predicted, the day was not as unbearingly, stiflingly hot as the rest of the week had been, with fluffy, thick clouds expanding across the sky and shielding you from the sun’s full wrath of summer rays. 

You were lucky to find a good spot, choosing to set up under a tree in case the sunlight managed to break through the clouds and make you require some other source of shade. Eren tossed you a grilled cheese and you unwrapped it slowly, laying on your stomach over Eren’s blanket as you ate together. Eren mirrored your position, tearing off pieces of his grilled cheese like a weirdo and eating it that way while making bits of small talk about how he hoped it would rain. Eventually, he finished and turned onto his back, eyes up towards the rolling clouds. You copied him after taking the last bite of your sandwich, knees bent so you could plant your feet on the ground and arms above your head. Eren had picked up and opened the dried mangos you’d brought along, quietly munching on them but otherwise still, with one leg crossed over the other. Another comfortable silence lulled the two of you. Eren was the first to break it. 

“I’m glad you were down to hang out today,” he said, and though your eyes were still looking at the sky, you felt his eyes on you. 

“I’m always down to hang out,” you replied, immediately feeling like that wasn’t the smartest way to say it. Although it was true, it left too much room for interpretation. And the way that you’d said it, the emotion behind your voice, alluded to much more than just a simple friendly answer.

The energy shifted, just like you predicted, and your mouth downturned into a frown before finally turning to meet Eren’s gaze. 

His face was serene, but those verdant eyes gazing back at you with an intensity he didn’t usually show you. The way his gaze held you in place made it hard to breathe. Still, you stayed perfectly still and met his gaze evenly, despite the slight trembling in your hands and in your knees. Thank goodness you were lying down. 

Without breaking the silence, Eren slowly shifted closer to you, propping himself up on one elbow so he could gaze down at you. As if rooted in place, you stayed frozen, not moving even when Eren leaned in towards you, and slowly nudged his nose against yours in that all too familiar gesture. 

His gentleness with you made you choke up, but this time your emotions were running high, and the stakes were running high, and you didn’t know what to say to him. So instead, you closed your eyes and let yourself feel him and his presence, and you listened to the rustling leaves of the trees and the distant calls of birds. Someone was laughing, but they sounded distant. 

Eren didn’t pull away. His nose softly rubbed against yours once more, back and forth, his breath tickling your lips. It would have only taken a slight, upwards tip of your head to capture him into a kiss. By the time the thought had occurred to you, he had slowly moved to trace the tip of his nose along your cheekbone, his lips ghosting over the flesh of your cheek as he explored this new territory; this was foreign to both of you. And you didn’t dare move. It would pop this dreamy bubble, it would make you think, it would make you decide. Right now, you didn’t want to decide. 

But then, Eren’s mouth was pressing a feather-light, barely noticeable kiss on your temple, and you saw those two paths you could take with him, and you couldn’t keep still or keep quiet any longer. You whimpered softly and released a shaky breath, eyes still closed but squeezed a little tighter now, not wanting to break the spell you were under. 

Eren whispered your name against your temple, urging you to say something. You opened your eyes and looked up to the sky. Vaguely, you noticed that the clouds were a darker grey, more threatening. Was it a sign? 

“I don’t want to get hurt,” you breathed out, voice surprisingly even despite how chaotic your entire mind and body felt. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” came Eren’s low-voiced reply, lips closer to your ear now. He moved his head so that you were completely face to face, eye to eye, with that intense gaze never having left his eyes. If anything, it’d become even more impassioned, but there was a slight conflict behind his eyes that you couldn’t really comprehend at first, until you realized you’ve had that same look, and might even have held that same look now. Eren had been hurt before, too. 

He was so close, the closest he’d ever been to you, nearly on top of you now, and you knew deep down what you'd decided but you didn’t know if you accepted it yet. 

“You’re my friend,” you tried again, eyes searching his. 

“We’re friends,” Eren confirmed, eyes flickering briefly to your lips. “And I just don’t want you to hate me.” You knew what he was implying. He was just as scared of this as you were, and he’d gone so far as to think you could possibly hate him over it. 

“I could never hate you.” The words were out of your mouth instantly, no hesitation, because you knew it was true. Looking up at this sweet boy, how could you ever hate him? How could he ever hurt you? 

You’d broken the spell. In one fluid motion, you finally found the strength to move one of your hands and place it tenderly at the nap of Eren’s neck, slowly pushing him forward to close the meager distance between your mouths. The kiss was soft and it was warm, and a faint crackle of thunder marked your first kiss with Eren as your lips moved together. 

Even though the kiss started out soft, it quickly morphed into a needier one, the hidden feelings both of you had been avoiding and shoving away suddenly pouring out. Eren moved to get more comfortable, and his position of choice was to fully get on top of you, arms caging your head as he balanced himself over you and parted your lips with his tongue. 

You breathed him in and brushed your fingers into his hair, not caring that it made his bun come loose. His entire body was pressed into yours as he lowered himself, but you could tell he was still holding most of his weight on his forearms. Everything he’d ever done for you was always so considerate, and the realization of that made you get a little carried away. You let him settle between your legs, knees still bent and feet still firmly on the ground, but you took it a step further and arched into him, chests pressed together as you pulled him against you. 

The gasp Eren let out into your mouth was exquisite, but all of it was short-lived. Another crackle of thunder boomed overhead, louder than the first, loud enough to be concerning now, and you broke apart, both of you breathless, as Eren tilted his head up to look towards the sky with furrowed brows. You couldn’t take your eyes off him and watched the way he examined the briskly changing weather. 

“Shit, nobody said it was going to rain today,” he grumbled, but his face got gentle once he looked back down to you. Neither of you moved until a few drops of rain splattered onto your face and made you shiver, and that was the cue Eren needed to start packing up. 

The thought of your moment being over, and maybe your day, sullied your mood. You helped Eren with your things and squealed a little when the rain became heavier, motivation to hurry and grab the remnants of your picnic. Eren silently made the decision to grab the food and hand you the blanket as a way to cover yourself from the rain, still light but slowly getting stronger, and you shot him a thankful glance as you hurried back to his car. 

It was painfully silent as he started up the car, but you didn’t miss the apologetic glance he gave you. He made no moves to start driving anywhere, both of you just sitting there and watching rain splatter against his windshield. 

“Sorry,” he whispered finally, and at first you thought he was apologizing for the kiss, which made you dizzy with fear, until he followed up with, “I just thought it was going to be a little nicer in weather, I didn’t realize there would be a chance of it raining. Sorry I ruined our lunch.” 

“It’s not your fault,” you assured him quickly, about to reach over to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. You restrained yourself, however, still reeling from the kiss and the abrupt ending of it. “Besides...who doesn’t love some summer rain?” 

The corner of Eren’s mouth lifted up in a half-smile and you tried to settle down and just relax, but the tension between you was palpable. The euphoria from the kiss was slowly morphing into anxiety, the reality of what had just happened dawning on you. Eren was fidgeting in his seat, eyes glancing between you and out his windshield, his body a little tensed. You swallowed thickly, worried that you’d done exactly what you’d feared: you’d screwed up your thriving friendship with this boy. 

“Should I...take you home?” Eren asked quietly, head ducked shyly as he gazed at you from the corner of his eye. You couldn’t decipher his tone, but your anxiety was telling you that it wasn’t good. 

“Yeah, looks like the rain isn’t gonna let up,” you forced out, though your throat felt like there was a rock stuck in it, unable to let you breathe or speak properly. 

Eren wordlessly maneuvered to back out of his parking space and back onto the street, starting the familiar drive back to your place. You decidedly kept your eyes out the window, your mind going a million miles a minute with countless thoughts and worries, and you all but jumped out of the car once your building came into view. 

“Thanks, Eren,” you said, cutting him off as he was about to say something and not even able to look him in the eye as you slammed his car door shut and hurried all the way to your apartment. You didn’t stop to catch your breath until you were safely inside, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You sank down onto the floor and rested your head against the door with a frustrated groan, your nerves making you tremble and feel restless. You had to move around, had to keep up with your racing thoughts. 

A quick trip to the kitchen uncovered a note from Christa that replaced yours, letting you know she was spending the night at Ymir’s, and you groaned in frustration. Again, you wished for her to just be here instead, and even thought momentarily about texting her to come home and just _help_ you with this. Without really thinking, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and brought up Christa’s contact information, finger lingering over the call button. You couldn’t be alone with your thoughts right now. 

Before you could really make up your mind, an incoming call surprised you, and Eren’s name flashed on the screen. You felt that awful tightening in your chest again and wondered briefly if you should even take the call, but your body worked faster and had already swiped to answer it. 

You said nothing at first as you pressed your phone up to your ear, swallowing thickly before letting out a timid, “Hey…” 

“Can we talk? I feel so stupid for just letting you leave like that.” Eren’s voice was filled with pleading, and the tension you felt around your shoulders and chest eased just the slightest bit. 

“Yeah, of course. Are you still here?” you asked, and instantly, you heard a knock at your front door. 

“Yeah, I’m here,” Eren whispered into the phone, but you were already on your way to him, yanking open the front door to reveal him standing there, slightly disheveled, a little soaked from the rain that was pounding harder and harder against your roof. 

You set your phone down on the console table by the front door and Eren’s arm dropped down to his side, fingers that were loosely draped around his phone tucking it away into his pocket. 

Neither of you said a thing for what felt like the longest time, both of you searching the other’s gaze for a sign of some sort, something to let you know how to proceed. 

And both of you seemed to find what you were looking for at the same time. 

Eren crossed the threshold into your place in an instant, hands lifting to cup your face and bring you into your second kiss with him, this one unapologetically urgent as he kicked your front door closed with his heel. Your hands gripped his shoulders and you brought him closer to you, chests together as you slowly guided backwards, deeper into your apartment, closer to your room. Your hands moved from his shoulders to his hair again, like they had earlier in the park, and you tenderly carded your fingers through his hair, slightly dampened from the rain, as your mouths moved against each other and became a clash of tongue and teeth as the dam broke between the two of you. 

Clothes were discarded as you stumbled towards your room, mouths breaking apart just for gulps of air and to remove shirts and make sure you were going the right way. Eventually, Eren had you pinned against the closed door of your bedroom, his trembling hands fiddling with the hooks of your bra before finally tearing it off of you. His head dove into your breasts to press kisses to your bare skin and you rested your head against the door briefly as a sigh of content released itself from your chest, one hand still in Eren’s hair as the other fumbled around until it found the doorknob. The hand in his hair moved to cup his jaw and bring that mouth back to yours, opening the door to your room and fumbling around until you reached your bed. 

You had Eren in only his boxers and he undressed you until you were only in your panties, his natural warmth enveloping you as he caged you in his embrace once again. You mouthed at his neck, smelling rain and his husky cologne, and the combined scent intoxicated you. 

Eren’s hands wandered over your body and made you shudder in delight as he melded his palms into your curves, memorizing every part of you before resting at your hips, fingertips slightly digging into your skin. His touch lit a fire in you and made it hard to think clearly, but you were finally starting to feel like you were coming back to reality. Eren seemed to also be having the same revelation. His movements were slower, kisses to your head were gentler, more tender. 

You let your head fall back into your pillow and you stared up at Eren, at your friend, at the boy you had such strong feelings for, and you instantly softened at the sight of him. His eyes roamed your body, but his gaze was so soft and endearing that you couldn’t feel self-conscious. 

The sense of urgency that had overtaken the two of you was slowly disappearing, but there was no anxiety or awkwardness to replace it. There was only affection, only intimacy, only sweetness. Neither of you needed or wanted to take it further. You just wanted to feel each other, find each other this way after all this time of not giving in. The burning need to just be close had finally been sated, and now you just wanted to feel Eren there with you. 

“That’s all I wanted to say,” Eren whispered breathlessly, but the shit-eating grin suddenly dawning on his face made you laugh and bring him down for another kiss, this one more innocent, not as needy. He pulled away first, but only to nudge his nose to yours affectionately, the action suddenly carrying more weight. 

“I’m glad we both said what we needed to say,” you said with a quiet giggle, letting Eren press a final kiss to your collarbone before rolling off of you to lay at your side. 

Eren gave you a smile that was reserved only for you, lying on his side to look at you straight on. You did the same. His smile faded slightly, again looking a little insecure, and he bit his lip before speaking again. 

“Is this...is this okay?” he asked you, the vulnerability manifesting in his gaze. It was always so read his emotions through his eyes. “It’s just that...you’re one of my favorite people now. I don’t want to ruin anything. But I also want this to be okay. If that’s okay. We don’t have to figure it out right now.” 

“This is okay,” you said with a small smile, letting Eren drape an arm around your naked waist. He looked relieved, and you knew you likely looked the same. 

You idly fingered the key necklace he still wore, until your eyes flickered down to his chest, puzzled for a moment when your eyes caught something you hadn’t noticed before. 

“I didn’t know you had a tattoo,” you whispered, fingers moving from his necklace to the tattoo on his chest, right above where his heart would be. It was a sideways triangle, completely inked in, and it was fairly small, but stood out against his sunkissed skin. 

“Yeah, I kinda hate it now,” he admitted, but let you trace the triangle. 

“What’s the triangle supposed to mean? It’s sideways.” 

Eren was quiet for a minute and then sighed with a small laugh. “It’s supposed to be a play button. The band all went to go get tattoos one night after our first paid gig. Not matching or anything, but related to music somehow. I chose this one because I saw how stupid Reiner’s tattoo turned out and thought this would be better. It really isn’t. It’s cheesy.” 

“I like it,” you whispered, giving him a happy grin as you continued to trace it. “What’s Reiner’s tattoo?” 

“Ask him to show you one of these days, you’ll make fun of him forever like the rest of us,” Eren snorted, then pulled you in closer, so that you could nuzzle into his neck and he could press his face into your hair. Slowly, you pulled away to look at him, brushing some hair out of his face with your free hand, and Eren’s eyes never left yours. 

The rain was letting up, now just a soft pitter-patter against your roof and bedroom window, a soothing sound. You watched as a slow, slightly teasing smile played on his lips and he raised a brow, squeezing your hip with one strong hand. 

“Quit staring at me.”


	6. Empty Spaces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late posting, but this was by far the longest chapter so far! Welcome to chapter 6! 
> 
> **  
> _WARNING: SMUT SCENES AHEAD_  
>  **
> 
> Please, please, _please_ only read if you're of a mature age! You have been warned, sweet cherubs. 
> 
> Also, here's the next song in the Musician!Eren playlist to correlate with this chapter's vibes: 
> 
> **affection - BETWEEN FRIENDS**

The show had gone well, one of the biggest crowds yet thanks to Mikasa and Armin’s promotion of it on the college radio station. You hadn’t been working that night - thankfully so, from the looks of it - but had shown up for support. 

Even working at the bar, you weren’t prone to hanging out upstairs, the technical “backstage” of the warehouse, but tonight you sat with Sasha and waited for the boys to come up, their laughter floating up towards you now that their set was done. Eren’s laugh, the loudest and most infectious of all, made you perk up as they came up the stairs. 

“Reiner’s thinking of hosting a party at his place tonight,” Sasha was telling you between munches of cashews. “It’d be cool if you came!” 

“That sounds fun,” you replied with a smile, leaning back into your chair. “Eren drove me, so I’ll just go where he goes.” 

Sasha smirked at your response, definitely about to say something you knew would earn her a smack, but the boys stumbled over right on time and Connie shut her up with a big, post-show, adrenaline-fueled kiss. 

Your eyes flickered to Eren’s, watching them glint mischievously, and you found yourself standing up and walking to him to drag him into a more secluded corner, arms loosely draped around his shoulders once there was nobody in sight. 

“What’d you think?” he managed to get out before you pulled him in for a smooch, one hand very gently playing with the loose bun at the nape of his neck. Despite your gentle touch, it came undone anyway. You merely hummed in reply to his question and broke the kiss slowly, a wide smile creeping onto your lips when his nose nudged yours softly, tip of his nose rubbing against yours as you both got your bearings. 

“Wonderful, as always,” you murmured, lips ghosting over Eren’s as you spoke. “When are you gonna play your new song? You’ve been talking about doing it for a minute now.” 

“Mm, not ready yet,” he mumbled back, leaning in to steal another kiss. You obliged, hands in his hair and lips working to part his. He didn’t give in so easily, which earned him a whine from you. 

When you broke away again, even more breathless than before, you fully pulled yourself from Eren when footsteps clambered over to where you were hiding. 

Sasha peered into the corner, that shit-eating grin nearly splitting her face. 

“Hey, time to start cleaning up,” she announced, the tone of her voice very suggestive as she continued, “Unless you two need another minute.” 

“We’re fine, Sasha,” you said sternly, raising your eyebrow at her. She raised her almost-empty beer in response, as if cheering to that, and laughed loudly as she stalked off back to Connie. Eren rolled his eyes and guided you out, the two of you keeping a steady distance apart as you met up with everyone else. 

Eren started up a conversation with Mikasa, who had come along with just Hitch this time around, no Mina in sight. You watched thoughtfully for a moment before looking away and striking up your own conversation with Reiner. He was sitting down, finishing up his beer before moving downstairs to start packing up. 

“So, party at your place?” you asked him with a grin, and he returned that grin just as impishly as you’d given it. 

“I don’t know if you can handle one of my parties,” he teased. 

You, of course, had heard the stories of Reiner’s legendary parties. They had been the birthplace of many bad ideas and even more incredible memories. But mostly bad ideas. Eren had told you how the last one had ended: with Armin, of all people, attempting to pierce his own nose in the bathroom after constant teasing and hounding from Reiner and then promptly blacking out before he could really do any damage. 

“Dunno, guess we’d have to find out,” you said, shrugging your shoulders casually before you let out a short laugh. Reiner’s laugh boomed through the entire upstairs, thrumming through your chest like his drums did. 

In an instant, you felt a presence behind you. Tilting your head up, you were met with a low angled view of Eren. He placed a hand on your shoulder, sloping his face down to meet your gaze steadily. 

“Dude, quit nursing your beer and bothering everyone and start packing up with us,” Eren scoffed, his hand squeezing your shoulder with the slightest pressure. 

“You’re one to talk,” Reiner scoffed back, but chugged the last of his beer and stood up to go back downstairs and pack up their equipment. 

“He’s right, you need to pull your weight,” you teased Eren, standing up from your seat. “I’m gonna go say hi to Ymir before we head out.”

“Okay,” he agreed, then sighed and gave you a look, eyebrow raised as he let go of your shoulder. “And we are not going to Reiner’s party.” 

“Oh boo. I didn’t take you for a party pooper,” you pouted, but followed him down and split ways so you could go to the bar and say hi to your fellow coworkers. 

Isabel and Ymir were working that night, along with a third pair of hands to help with the busy night, some guy named Thomas. They were still knocking out drink orders despite the hour, all of them shouting over the ruckus of the crowd as they seamlessly moved between each other. Isabel was the first to spot you and offered a very vibrant grin, waving enthusiastically before she resumed her work. She also called to Ymir, nodding her head in your direction when Ymir begrudgingly turned her head to see what Isabel wanted.

“Hey, groupie,” Ymir greeted you, and you gave her a deep frown at the unwanted term. 

“I’m not a groupie,” you defended yourself, to which Ymir barked out a laugh. 

“If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…,” she jabbed, but let it go and handed you a coveted small bowl of maraschino cherries. Without even pausing to take a breather, she got back to what she’d been doing, mixing together what looked like an amaretto sour. “You goin’ home after this or are Christa and I spared from Eren’s godawful presence for the night?” 

“You talk like you’re on the lease,” you grumbled under your breath, and then louder, told Ymir, “I think I’ll be out for the night. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Have a good night!” 

She gave you a look, one that made you feel like she was the all-knowing parent and you were the clueless child, but you popped the last few cherries into your mouth, pushed the bowl back towards her, and steadily avoided her gaze as you pried your way out of the throng of people crowding the bar for a last drink. You knew that look; it was a much less playful and much more serious version of Sasha’s look from earlier. One that asked, What are you doing? 

It surprised you how quickly the boys managed to get everything in order. It was less surprising when you saw Sasha and Mikasa helping them. You’d quickly come to learn that both girls were freakishly strong and had no trouble helping out when they could, and there was no hesitance in teasing Eren about it once you managed to get him alone for a few seconds, letting everyone else trail ahead of you so you could have a moment to yourselves. 

“If it weren’t for Mikasa and Sasha, you guys would take hours loading up,” you chuckled, which earned an eye roll from Eren. 

“Not true,” he pouted, stealing a very stealthy peck. “I happen to be very strong. The strongest.”

You couldn’t help yourself. You leaned in closer, eyes flashing with mischief as you lifted the corner of your mouth into a half-smirk, and raised a brow in a challenging manner. 

“Oh yeah? You should prove it sometime.” 

Eren caught on immediately and returned that sly look you gave him, and then impatiently glanced over at the small group of his friends before looking back to you. 

“Now we’re _definitely_ not going to Reiner’s stupid party.” 

“Oh no,” you lamented, but there was no heart to it. You knew what you were doing. 

A hurried goodbye to everyone was all you could really manage before Eren practically dragged you to his car, all of his equipment settled in the back of Reiner’s truck for band practice at his place tomorrow. He walked to the passenger side with you, instantly pressing his body to yours once you were out of sight from the rest, and pressed a hungry kiss into your mouth. You could feel the desperation in his kiss and you relished in the moan, almost growl, he let out when you parted your lips, his tongue quick to find yours. He inhaled sharply and pulled away, so suddenly that you thought something was wrong, but the way he looked at you made you swallow your questions. 

“You taste like cherries,” he breathed out, eyes closed. His hands were on either side of your head, caging you into his embrace, and his nose brushed against yours as he caught his breath. That familiar impish smirk was back with a vengeance as his eyes opened to show you the wild look they had, one you were beginning to become acquainted with. And then, as his bottom lip dragged along your top lip, he murmured, “Tastes good, but I’m in the mood to taste something better.” 

He took a step back, one arm wrapping around your waist to pull you along with him, and you pressed into him as he opened the car door for you and helped you sit down. You let him move you around like that, already feeling your legs turning to jelly as you dared ask him, “And what would that be?” 

“You,” he answered with no hesitation. Your heart stopped as he knelt down in front of you. 

“Eren, not here,” you hissed, cheeks aflame as you frantically tried to look around. 

Granted, this was an industrial area, and the back of the bar was barred from patrons and only used by employees and whoever was performing that night. The crew had already taken off, eager to start the party at Reiner’s place, leaving only you and Eren there. The back looked out to a whole lot of nothing, mainly just the storage units across the way, and it was just as deserted. 

Still, it was risky, and it was reckless, and it was oh, so tempting. 

“It’s just us,” Eren murmured, already situated between your legs. He was slow and calculated in his movements, which drove you crazy and also kept you rooted to your seat. His eyes had fluttered shut and he was nuzzling into your thigh, hands finding the button of your jeans easily. He unbuttoned them and pulled down the zipper, cheek resting atop your thigh as he opened his eyes just slightly, his half-lidded gaze trained on your face. “Want me to stop?” 

“I don’t want you to stop,” you breathed out, struggling to find your breath in this situation. You groaned at the lazy smile that Eren gave you, and whether the groan was out of annoyance or excitement or both was impossible to know. His fingers hooked into the front of your jeans to help you pull them off. You lifted your hips up slightly so he could tug them down around your knees, taking your panties along with them, and the unexpected summer night air that hit your bare skin elicited a pleased and breathy mewl from you. Eren yanked all of the fabric down around your ankles, annoyed that it was just in the way now. 

He was quiet, choosing to flicker his gaze between your face and the slickness between your thighs, drinking in the sight of you like he had only seen it for the first time. His fingertips running along your bared skin, the soft kisses his mouth pressed into your inner thigh, all of it was done at his own languid pace. He was taking his sweet time with you, as if time was all the two of you had, and it was riling you up, and he _knew_ it. You whined his name, hands finding his soft hair, fingers curling into the locks as you lightly tugged him forward, closer to your center, closer to where you wanted and needed him to be. To your dismay, Eren shook his head and chuckled, green eyes finally in view as he looked up at you through his lashes. 

“No need to rush,” he murmured, a hint of a grin on his lips, and he hummed as he pressed another kiss into your thigh and let his eyes flutter shut again. 

“Eren, you’re just teasing,” you gasped out, one hand clutching the edge of the seat as your legs spread open a little more to accommodate him. 

“Maybe,” you heard him answer, the words muffled into your skin. “But you like it.” 

“I like it,” you agreed breathlessly, shuddering when Eren finally moved closer, and closer, until those lips that trailed the skin of your inner thigh finally found your core. 

Eren hummed in delight as he placed a feather light kiss directly onto your clit, and you felt him smile into your folds as you moaned and pushed his head forward to fully make contact with you. He didn’t pull away, relished in your impatience instead, and finally did what you wanted him to. 

He ceased his languid, gentle pace and firmly grabbed both of your thighs with his large hands to pull you closer to him, his lips enclosing around your clit completely. His tongue pressed flat against your clit and he moaned as you tugged at his hair, the vibrations of the sound making you jolt from the pleasure of it. Your little mewls and unintelligible pleas were all the encouragement he needed as he sucked on your clit, tongue prodding and moving in lazy but firm circles. Both hands loosened their grip on your thighs to move to your folds, thumbs spreading them apart as his mouth left your clit. You didn’t even have time to whine about it; Eren’s tongue pressed flat against you, now able to push along every inch of you with his thumbs keeping you spread apart for him. He gave one slow, long lick and moaned softly, eyelids fluttering. He was giving you a little show. 

And you couldn’t stop watching him, your lips parted and eyes half-lidded as your fingers carded through his dark hair. When his eyes met yours briefly, needy and so desperate for you, your jaw dropped a little and you couldn’t hold back the little mewl of his name. The tip of his tongue prodded at your hole, pushing inside only the tiniest bit as his nose nuzzled into your folds and brushed at your clit. 

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” you gasped, tugging at his hair again, which earned you another guttural moan from him. Instead of pushing his tongue into you like you’d wanted, his tongue lapped slowly at your pussy again, paying special attention to your clit. You writhed in your seat, head lolling back as Eren moved one hand to tease two fingers against your entrance, slowly pushing in and curling them as he sucked on your clit. You saw stars then, arching forward as a loud moan tore through you. 

Eren pulled away just long enough to murmur, “Don’t be too loud,” and then he was right back to it, tongue directly on your clit and sucking harder as his fingers pumped into you, easily finding and curling into the spot that made your stomach coil tightly. 

“I’m close,” you groaned out, nearly incoherent with the way your words slurred together, but you couldn’t keep your composure any longer. Your thighs switched between pressing against Eren’s head to spreading wide for him, not knowing which positioning brought you closer to your orgasm. 

When Eren finally pressed his tongue firmly to your clit, no longer gentle or slow in the slightest, and his fingers rubbed at that glorious spot that made you tremble, you came undone and clenched around his fingers as you finally reached your high, an unabashedly loud moan sounding from deep in your throat. 

Eren sucked and licked through your orgasm, fingers slowing down as you rode through it, until you slumped sideways into the seat and caught your breath. He chuckled as he leaned back, breaking free from you and pulling his fingers out to suck them clean. You watched through heavily lidded eyes, a thrill going through your spine at the sight of him, all wet lips and flushed cheeks. 

“I was right. You taste better than cherries,” he teased you in a low voice, and you laughed breathlessly before grabbing him by the back of his neck and leading him to your lips for a deep kiss. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled into his mouth, then pulled away to catch your breath again. Eren helped you get dressed and your face felt hot as he rummaged around for some napkins to wipe the seat down, a teasing grin on his face. 

“Worth the mess every time,” he whispered in your ear, and then he was bounding over to the driver’s seat like he wasn’t driving you crazy, starting the car to head out for the night. As he pulled out of the parking lot, he turned to you briefly to catch your eye inquisitively, and asked, “Where to? My place or yours?” 

“Yours,” you replied, settling comfortably into your seat as you turned your head to stare at Eren. He had turned back to look at the road as he drove, giving you a lovely view of his profile. You took in the sight of his long lashes, the slight flush of color that remained on his sun-kissed cheeks, and your own face grew hot again when you saw him lick his lips. If you’d thought you were in trouble before, you knew you were absolutely screwed now. 

You and Eren were in a very classic “friends with benefits” relationship at this point, and while that wasn’t bad and you’d been enjoying it these past couple of weeks, you were beginning to wonder if you wanted more from him. There was still that awful barrier you had around you, the barrier that didn’t want you to get hurt and was hard to break through. Eren had built a wall around him too, and though neither of you had talked extensively about your respective hurts, you knew he had also gone through some troubles. It was something he hadn’t opened up about yet and you didn’t want to pry. But the longer this went on...the more you wanted to break past that wall around him. The more you just wanted, in general. All you did was want, and hope. But that nagging possibility of him not wanting you back like that, not reciprocating the confusing but definitely growing feelings you had, was enough for you to hold back. 

Eren’s studio was quiet and dark as you shuffled inside with him, neither of you bothering with the lights as you slowly undressed and got ready for bed. It was late and you were both feeling that heaviness on your bodies, aching for sleep. You curled into Eren’s side once you were both comfortably in his bed, one hand reaching up to play with his necklace, key dangling around his chest. His arm wrapped around you securely and you rested your head into the crook of his neck, a leg hooked around his hips. It felt as though you were melded together like this, every part fitting nicely together. 

When you felt Eren’s head turn towards you and heard him whisper your name, you tilted your head up curiously to see what he wanted, and then smiled warmly and sleepily as he pressed a kiss to your lips and then nudged his nose to yours in that familiar way. 

“G’night,” he mumbled, the two of you drifting off together.

***

It had been nearly a week since you’d last seen Eren. Late summer had invoked the arrival of college students and brought you more hours at your other place of work, and Eren’s own schedule had busied up due to the incoming fall semester as well. You’d texted frequently enough, but you had to admit that you missed being with him and feeling him there.

You were working a shift at the bar tonight and had been eager to see who would be playing tonight, hoping it was Eren’s band. To your dismay, you saw that it would just be a quiet night, with absolutely no shows going on at all. Pretty typical for a Tuesday night, but you’d at least hoped for a distraction. 

The night dragged on and on. Despite it being a Tuesday, it was a little busy, but you had really grown into your bartender role and performed each duty with ease at this point. It was only you there, no one to chat with but your patrons, so you tried your best to chat them up and at least get some good tips out of the night. There was no challenge in any of it tonight. And by the time last call and closing rolled around, you were still buzzing with energy and knew exactly what you wanted. 

**_What are you doing?_ **

You sent the text to Eren and waited rather impatiently as you cleaned up the last little bit of the bar, not even caring that it was really late and there was a possibility that Eren would be asleep. You were willing to take the chance that he was awake and willing to come over. 

Your heart leaped as your phone buzzed a few minutes later, and you grabbed your phone to look at his response. 

**_Nothing, can I come over?_ **

You sighed in relief, quickly letting him know you were just closing up the bar and you’d be at home in about 20 minutes. He replied with a simple _okay_ and you got to work on hurrying up at the bar so you could get out of there and meet him at your place. 

The drive felt like it took forever, but you were relieved to _not _see Eren’s old Jeep anywhere in sight. You parked and sauntered to the front of your building, eyes out for Eren’s car. A small sedan rolled up to the front and you hardly paid mind to it, seeing the windshield sporting a few Uber stickers, but to your surprise, Eren’s tall form clambered out and said a quick goodbye to his driver before turning to you, a sly smile on his face.__

__“Hey, how come--” but you couldn’t finish your sentence. In a flash, Eren had you pinned against your building, his lips colliding with yours in a rough kiss. You melted into him as you returned his kiss with just as much passion, hands grabbing his upper arms to pull him closer. The taste of whiskey was prominent on his tongue and he smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, and it hit you that he had probably been out. The thought intrigued you but also stung a little. Why hadn’t he come to see you tonight? No, you had no right to be hurt by that. He didn’t belong to you. And that fact hurt you too._ _

__Eren pulled away to gulp in some air, forehead pressed to yours and eyes closed as he asked, “Is your roommate inside? Do we have to be quiet?”_ _

__A thrill ran through your spine despite knowing that Christa was, in fact, at home right now. The good news was that it was just her, no Ymir this time, and Christa was a heavier sleeper. You told Eren as much, to which all he did was pull you in for another kiss, an arm wrapping around your waist to pull you to his chest as he stepped away and tugged you along with him. He was making his way to your apartment, and you took the hint and led him there, breaking away from his grasp to grab his arm and guide him to your apartment._ _

__You took note of the way he stumbled along and struggled to keep up with you, and as you finally ended up in your room, Eren nearly keeled over and brought you down with him. A short laugh escaped him and you suddenly had other thoughts of how this night was going to go._ _

__“Eren...how drunk are you? Let me get you some water instead,” you suggested, but Eren immediately shook his head and straightened himself out, cupping your face in his hands so you could meet his eyes. They were a little wild, a little hazy, but you still saw Eren there._ _

__“No need,” he assured you, shooting you a very obnoxious grin. “I’m fine. Promise.”_ _

__“Okay,” you relented with a roll of your eyes and a small smile._ _

__He kissed you again and was the one to lead you to your bed, with him sitting at the edge and you straddling him. As you began discarding clothes haphazardly, Eren’s teeth found your throat, biting down hard before sucking and licking at the small wound. He had never marked you before, but the possessive feeling of it made you mewl, your head tilting to give him all the room he needed._ _

__You inhaled sharply as one of his hands dipped beneath your panties to find your clit, and he moaned softly as he rubbed at your slit with soft fingertips._ _

__“So wet,” he mumbled against your neck, gathering your slit on his fingers to lubricate your clit as two fingers rolled lazy circles into it. His other hand found one of your breasts and he squeezed lightly as he went back to leaving yet another mark on you, right on that sensitive spot on your neck that made you tremble._ _

__As you helped Eren strip down to nothing but his boxers between rough nips to your neck and needy touches to your clit, you began trailing kisses along his shoulder, nose skimming the crook of his neck to breathe his scent in. He did smell like whiskey and smoke, but the scent that was so unequivocally Eren, the mix of cedar and citrus, intoxicated you._ _

__“Get me back,” he groaned, “Get back at me for marking you up.”_ _

__Your teeth sank into the column of his neck without hesitation, right into that spot that was so sensitive for Eren, like he’d done to you. And you didn’t hold back as you sucked and nipped, watching through hazy eyes as it reddened and you broke through the tender skin. For a moment, you paused and hummed in delight as Eren kept working at your clit, but soon dove back to what you were doing. The tiny grunts he gifted you from your work encouraged you to keep going, until you pulled away to admire what you’d done to him. With a smirk, you glanced at Eren’s face, but he wiped that smirk right off your face as one finger prodded at your entrance._ _

__“Don’t tease,” you whined, and Eren chuckled at how breathless you were._ _

__He took his hand out of your panties and grabbed at your hips, pushing you down to grind against him roughly and feel how hard he was through his boxers. You dropped your head down to his shoulder and gasped out softly from the friction, but found yourself bucking into him with need. Eren laid on his back and took you down with him, then flipped you over so he was hovering over you._ _

__His necklace dangled from his neck and the key brushed over your bare chest, making you shiver. You played with it and then used it to tug him down to your level for a kiss, legs entangling into his after you both shimmied into the middle of your bed._ _

__“Want you,” you murmured, your free hand sneaking down between his legs to rub him through his boxers. He was fully hard, which encouraged you to push your hand past the fabric to grab hold of him, and you relished in the soft moan he drowned into your lips._ _

__“Want you too,” he sighed, and then his boxers were off, and then your panties were off, and there was only bare skin on bare skin. One of Eren’s hands fumbled around on your nightstand until he found what he needed, a condom to rip open from the package and roll onto his erection quickly, the two of you impatient and needy. You were wet just from the playful foreplay, your entire body feeling hot and relaxed as Eren’s fingers dipped down to rub at your clit. Your arm draped around his shoulders loosely, free hand still playing with his necklace as Eren’s mouth found every inch of skin he could find, heated kisses pressed against your neck, collarbones, and then down to your breasts. He took a nipple into his mouth and sucked softly as his hand left your heat, grabbing his cock to position himself at your entrance. When he broke away from your breast, a thin trail of saliva connected his lips to your skin as his eyes, dark and hungry for you, connected with your aroused gaze. Your hand reached to cup his cheek and he leaned into it before he turned his head to kiss your palm, the tender moment overpowered by the intense sensation of Eren finally pushing into you._ _

__You threw your head back into your pillow and gasped out as he fully buried himself into you, his hands finding your hips to pull them up towards him and help him bottom out. Your legs splayed out, allowing him as much room as he needed to be between them, and your eyes fluttered shut as Eren descended onto you again so your chests could press together. One of your legs hooked around him to keep him that close, wanting to feel his entire body on yours._ _

__“Eren, you feel good,” you gasped out, a little mewl escaping as Eren found his rhythm and pumped into you slowly at first, but not as gently as he usually started out. His face was buried in your neck and he panted harshly against your skin, parted lips dragging over your tense neck as he bucked into you._ _

__“You feel good,” he grunted, pressing a sloppy kiss to your jaw. His hand gripped one of your thighs tightly as he paused, then he nuzzled your clavicles, whispering out, “Made for me.”_ _

__The words made your heart pound in your chest, more than it was with your arousal, and your hand reached up from his shoulder to thread through his messy hair and push it from his face. You kissed his temple, the mood suddenly much more intimate, and you hummed softly when both of Eren’s arms wrapped around you tightly, not even a breath able to come between the two of you with how close he held you._ _

__His thrusts quickened and it made you arch into him, both legs now securely wrapped around him as he pounded into you and pecked every inch of you that his lips could reach. Your hand was buried into his hair, the other creeping down one of Eren’s arms to pry it away from your waist and hold his hand next to your head. Eren moved his head up to gaze at you, eyes glassy and filled with an emotion you couldn’t understand. The way he rolled his hips allowed your clit to brush against his lower stomach with every thrust, and the head of his cock had found that lovely spot within you, all of the stimulation suddenly overwhelming as your high approached._ _

__You tried your best to meet his gaze but your eyes fluttered shut as you concentrated on your quickly nearing orgasm. Eren whined immediately, and then you felt his nose nudge against yours, barely touching his tip to yours to get your attention._ _

__“Look at me...,” he murmured breathlessly, “please look at me.”_ _

__Your eyes opened once again, surprised at his request, but the vision of him flushed and panting on top of you, eyebrows knit together and mouth agape as he pushed into you relentlessly, it was the last push you needed._ _

__You came as Eren whispered your name, his breath fanning your face, and your eyes rolled back for a moment as you let your orgasm rock through you like Eren was rocking through you, his name the only thing on your mind. You repeated it out loud like it repeated in your thoughts, meeting his eyes again when you felt him push into you harshly as he reached his own orgasm and groaned out your name, hips bucking sporadically as he rode it out with you. The hand holding yours squeezed your fingers tightly and you returned the squeeze, bringing your joined hands to kiss his knuckles briefly before Eren collapsed on top of you, absolutely spent._ _

__You’d never come together before, not like that. It was intense and perfect, and the most intimate you and Eren had ever been with each other. It had felt more than fulfilling the lustful tension between you. It hadn’t felt as carnal. It had felt...tender. And affectionate. An experience completely tailored to just the two of you._ _

__“Wow,” you sighed, a dreamy smile on your lips as you and Eren caught your breath. He slid out of you and kissed your forehead before he got up to remove the condom, quickly snuggling back up with you once he was done. You rested your head on his chest, hand reaching up to fiddle with the gold key, and his fingers played with your hair as you listened to his slowing heart._ _

__Eren didn’t say anything for a while, and as you felt his breathing slow with his heart, you figured he’d fallen asleep. You were following suit, trying your best not to overthink how he’d been with you tonight, but when his husky voice filled your room, you tightened your grip on his key necklace and knew you were falling hard, and hoped Eren was falling too._ _

__“Thanks for starin’ at me.”_ _

____

***

The next morning, you awoke on your side, facing the window, and subconsciously reached out for the body you thought was next to you. You were instead met with an empty bed. You sat up in confusion, rubbing at your eyes and looking around the room for a moment, as if Eren was going to just appear, but you were all alone. You noticed that only your clothes were strewn about, Eren’s clothes now gone.

It was so unlike him to leave without a goodbye, and your heart couldn’t help but drop at the realization. As a last resort, you checked your phone to see if maybe he’d been in a hurry, maybe texted, but you were met with no new notifications. With a sigh, you dropped your phone on your bed and got dressed to grab some breakfast before getting ready for the day, running into Christa, who was already up and going through her phone as she nibbled on some toast. She looked up when she heard you and offered a sweet smile, putting her phone down to give you her full attention.

“Morning,” she greeted you, grabbing her coffee to take a sip. “Sorry I didn’t stay up for you last night. Have an okay night?” 

So she hadn’t heard Eren at all; you knew she was just talking about how work had gone. He’d probably left before she woke up, from the sound of it. 

“It was...a weird night,” you admitted. “I’ll tell you about it later. I’m gonna go take a shower.” 

Maybe Christa would have some advice. But for now, you’d let yourself work through your confusion alone. You grabbed a muffin to take back to your room and munch on as you woke up a little more and got your bearings, catching the sight of yourself in a little mirror at your desk. The hickey Eren had left was the first thing that caught your eye. He’d left quite a big one and you pursed your lips at the sight, knitting your brows together as you gazed at it through your reflection. 

Your hand reached up to cover it, your heart sinking all over again. But you felt a little better when the evidence of last night was out of sight. You wondered how long Eren would be out of sight, too. 


	7. Don't You Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting a little later because of my poor planning....I had no idea THIS would be the chapter being posted V-Day weekend, pls forgive me. Love you!!!!
> 
> Anyway, here's the latest song in the Musician!Eren playlist for this chapter's vibes: 
> 
> **My Man - Delacey**

Eren’s breath tickled your neck, an arm wound loosely around your naked waist. He was curled into you, with your leg over his waist and your head atop his, fingers carding through his always messy hair, locking him in a cage with your limbs. You embraced each other as he came down from his high and you came down from yours. Just for a moment, you let yourself pretend. 

You pretended he was yours. You pretended you were his. You pretended he was actually going to stay the night this time. 

“I have to go soon,” Eren murmured against your neck. His voice sounded strained. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“Okay,” you said. You didn’t want him to go. 

It took a few minutes, but eventually, Eren let go of you and got up from your bed. Shivers coursed through you from his lack of warmth, the cold suddenly seeping in. You sighed quietly but didn’t turn to look as he got dressed. Neither of you said anything. 

The telltale sounds of Eren dressing, however, stopped after a minute and you perked up curiously, not hearing him leave your room. You braced yourself and then shifted around to face your bedroom door instead of your wall where he should have been. You gasped a little when you saw him closer than expected, standing at the foot of your bed with a conflicted expression on his face. With a sigh, Eren sat down at the edge of your bed and then thought better of it, scooting closer so that he was hovering over your huddled frame.

“Can I stay for tonight?” he asked, voice a nearly imperceptible whisper. 

You didn’t understand the look in his eyes, like he was fighting himself over something, but you didn’t bring it up and instead nodded quietly.

“Of course you can,” you whispered back. You let him strip back to just a shirt and his boxers before pulling the covers back for him, the warmth once again enveloping you. 

Eren went right back to the position he’d been in before, locked in the cage of your limbs as you held him close. This time, it was harder to pretend. 

***

There was no telling when or how you’d managed to fall asleep last night. Eren had a presence that was both calming and nerve-wracking, but you supposed it was mostly calming; after all, you had to admit that it had been the first night in almost a week that you’d slept so soundly. Whether you wanted to admit it to yourself or not, Eren being there helped you and soothed you, and you missed him. 

But now, as the sun rose and peered in through your blinds, a feeling of dread overcame you as your mind slowly pulled itself away from your dreams. There was a small part of you that didn't want to wake up, and there was only one reason why. 

What if Eren had already left? Without saying goodbye? 

Despite your fears, you blinked your eyes open and adjusted to the morning light, about to reach a hand up to rub the sleep away. Confusion swept over you when you couldn’t move an inch, and the confusion was about to twist into panic until you realized the reason you couldn’t move. 

Eren’s arms were snug around you, hugging you against him with your back flush against his chest. It was an iron grip and nearly impossible to get out of. You did, however, manage to shimmy until you were facing him instead, heart thrashing in your chest as your eyes met his sleeping face. 

He looked so peaceful and serene, features completely relaxed in slumber. Though you couldn’t reach up, your hands were able to sneak around his waist, and you trailed your fingertips along the exposed skin of his lower back. 

You didn’t think anything of it, seeing no signs of him waking up from his sleeping face and rhythmic breathing, until a hoarse, “Feels good,” came from his lips and startled you into stopping. 

“Did I wake you up?” you whispered, guilt dripping in your question. At that, Eren’s lips tilted into a sleepy smile and he cracked one eye open to look at you, the green glinting in the morning light. Even if part of his face was nestled into one of your pillows and some loose strands of hair covered part of his face, there was no doubt that you thought he looked perfect. 

“No,” he said, voice quiet as he stared at you. The attention made your face burn. “I’ve been awake for a while.” 

There was nothing to say to that. Instead, you moved to bury your face in his chest, breathing in the scent of him. It was as familiar as ever, citrus and cedar, intoxicating you as you pressed into Eren. 

You wished you could stay like that forever with him, just the two of you curled up into one another while the day passed you by. Unfortunately, life got in the way, and you knew you had responsibilities to tend to. For the moment, however, you stayed quiet and let yourself believe it could stay like this. 

Your breath hitched as Eren’s lips pressed into the top of your head, nose nuzzling into your hair. His arms tightened around your form, keeping you close to him, and you couldn’t stop the happy sigh that escaped your lungs. When it was like this, it quelled all your other doubts and fears. When it was like this, you couldn’t keep the nagging thought at bay: you liked Eren, as more than just a good friend, as more than just a friend you were sleeping with. It had gotten out of control. And you needed to figure out what you were going to do about that. Could you tell him? Were you strong enough to know the answer? 

“What do you have going on today?” Eren asked suddenly, breaking you from your thoughts. You breathed in deeply before pulling back just enough to look at him, finding that green gaze easily. His eyes were gentle as he stared down at you, slightly inquisitive as he waited for your answer. 

You hated that you had to be honest. Briefly, you considered just throwing away your responsibilities for the day, but decided against it. With a sad smile, you squeezed Eren’s hip and sighed, “I have to work today, in a few hours. Unfortunately.” 

Eren chuckled and a flash of something crossed his eyes. You could have sworn it was the same sadness and yearning that you were feeling. 

“But I’m free after work,” you spoke up quickly, your eyes hopeful as you bit your lip and looked at Eren. “Do you want to meet up after?” 

Maybe you could do it. At this point, you had to. You had to tell Eren how you felt. As you stared at him, taking in the tanned skin with rouged cheeks, vividly green eyes that caught the light even now, his dark and messy hair strewn about his head and your pillow...there was just no denying it. He was beautiful. But that wasn’t what had made you fall this hard. 

It had been the way Eren blushed around you. The way he laughed, smiled, made funny faces, spoke loudly and had no concept of an inside voice when he was excited. The way he always stood so close to you, even if it was detrimental to your balance and to his. The way he was so gentle with you. The way he nudged your nose with his, the ultimate act of his affection for you.

You had fallen too deep to ignore it anymore. And you couldn’t just let yourself pretend anymore. You had gone along this path for too long and now you were coming to the fork in the road you’d been avoiding, and there was only one path you were willing to take. 

But you wouldn’t tell him now. You’d tell him after work, after you had some time to think about how you wanted to bring it up and say it. 

Right now, you wanted to stay like this. 

“Let’s meet up after,” Eren agreed, giving you one of his crooked half-smiles. “There’s something I want to talk to you about. Can I meet you at the diner? How’s seven?” 

Your heart leapt, but you tried not to let it show. What could he want to talk to you about? 

“Yeah, that works,” you breathed out, doe-eyed as he held your gaze. “I’ll see you there later.”

“Cool,” he grinned, and the pink that dusted his cheeks tinted even darker. He hesitated for a moment and then leaned in slowly, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before untangling himself from you. “I’ll see you soon.” 

This time, as Eren got up and dressed himself while chatting with you about other mundane things, it felt normal and didn’t feel as dreadful to watch him leave. 

You walked him to the door and stopped when he did, nearly bumping into him. Eren turned and, without warning, cupped your face to pull you in for another kiss, deeper than the last one you’d shared in bed. It left you breathless. 

When Eren broke away from your lips, he nudged your nose with the tip of his own. His way of saying goodbye. 

You smiled the rest of the morning as you got ready for work. 

***

As Zeke had predicted, the closer it got to the start of fall semester, the busier it got at work. He needed two people covering again, which was nice in and of itself. You hated working alone most of the time, with only your boss in the back for non-customer service interactions and emergency situations. 

Today you were working with Annie, who truthfully wasn’t the most cheerful, but she was the only coworker you liked judging customers with. She was always brutally honest. 

It had been one of the busiest days in nearly the entire summer and it had left you a little worn out and very willing to spill on the ruder customers you’d handled throughout the day. Despite it being more of a casual cafe that catered to college students and young professionals, you still ran into patrons that thought your place of work was some sort of Michelin star restaurant. 

“That woman at the corner table is so pissed we’re at capacity for outdoor seating,” you grumbled to Annie, both of you behind the counter as you folded up some silverware. 

“Yeah? She didn’t want to wait 45 minutes like everyone else?” Annie quipped back, and you snorted a quiet laugh. Annie had gotten the brunt of the pissed off patrons regarding outdoor eating. She was the one serving the outdoor section today, something you were secretly thankful for. 

It was starting to slow down for the evening, the 6pm closing time thankfully waning out the customers. 

“At least you didn’t have to deal with what I’m thinking is a really fucking awkward first date,” Annie piped up, reaching under the counter to grab her water bottle. She took a sip and rolled her eyes, giving you an unimpressed look. “I hate going out there to check on them. I have no idea what’s going on with them. I’m trying to figure out if it’s a first date or a last date.” 

At that, your interest piqued and you flashed a sly grin. You absolutely loved the awkward first dates that you got. It was always painfully obvious, but you loved seeing two people trying to connect with one another. And you especially loved to guess whether there would be a second date or not. However, you’d never seen a breakup date before. Annie had had her fair share, and so had Pieck, another coworker of yours. But never you. 

“Who? Show me,” you insisted, looking towards the outdoor section curiously. You really had been so wrapped up in your own tables and running to and from the back to really notice. 

Annie nodded towards a table that was a little more discreet and out of the way, almost out of view. But it was just enough in your line of sight to make out two individuals leaning in close to one another in some sort of intense conversation. 

You felt your heart leap to your throat at the familiar messy bun and key necklace glinting in the evening sunlight. Even from where you were, those green eyes were ones you’d recognize anywhere. 

Eren. 

The girl had her back to the restaurant so you couldn’t make her out, but that didn’t really matter to you. What mattered to you was the way they both leaned in to one another as they spoke. Annie was right, there was no telling how their date was going. But one thing had to be for sure… this had to be a date. 

Your throat closed up when the girl reached across the table to grab Eren’s necklace and tug him closer. You tried to read his face but it was unreadable, even as she pulled him in to meet her halfway across the table. You couldn’t look away as she bumped her nose to his. And he let her. 

You felt sick. Dizzy, even. 

“Annie, can you cover me for a minute? I need to use the bathroom,” you croaked, only waiting until you got a confused and slightly concerned, “Okay?” from your coworker before you bolted to the employee bathroom. 

You slumped against the door once you’d locked it, lip trembling as you caught sight of yourself in the mirror. 

You were so stupid. How could you have been stupid? 

This was what he wanted to talk to you about, of course. That he was dating someone, a new girl, and you couldn’t keep doing this. It was why things had been weird between the two of you. Not because he liked you, or wanted things to change the way you did. He did want things to change...just not the way you did. 

There was no way you could face him tonight. With shaky hands, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and sent a text you didn’t even proofread to Eren about not being able to make it tonight. You tried to sound normal, but really had no idea what you’d even texted before sending it. You got a reply back almost immediately, but knew it was him, and didn’t want to look at it. You put your phone away without even taking a look. 

And you just couldn’t hold it back anymore. You slid down to the ground and wrapped your arms around your knees to curl into a ball, the tears escaping your eyes before you could even think to will them back.


	8. Killing Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Can't believe we're only a few chapters away from the end, but let's trust the process. As always, here is the latest song in the Musician!Eren playlist that corresponds with this chapter's vibes: 
> 
> **Capital Pains - Tempers**

Waking up on the thirteenth day of not talking to Eren was just as hard as the first day. It had been a really hard adjustment to make, considering you had gotten so used to _always_ talking to him, every day. 

But every morning felt like your heart was sinking a little more, day by day, the longer you ignored him. It had taken days, but you had eventually told him that you needed some space. You didn’t get any more calls or texts after that, and had gone so far as to mute all notifications from Eren. You couldn’t block him, though. You could never. 

Ymir had been happy to cover some of your shifts at the bar for you, particularly the ones where Eren’s band was due to perform, while you took more hours at your cafe. She had scoffed at how stupid Eren was to take a girl there, despite you explaining to her that he hadn’t really known much about your day job and probably presumed you’d worked at the campus cafe. You had no idea why you were even justifying the entire situation. Maybe it was just a way to process it. After all, it wasn’t like the two of you were together. You had been friends with benefits and nothing more. How good of a friend had Eren really been if he didn’t even know where you worked outside of the bar? All of these thoughts stung but served as a much needed reminder: You had gotten hurt, once again. And it helped to know that Ymir and Christa both kindly didn’t judge how your feelings had progressed, and had stuck by you in your hurt. 

Today was both welcomed and dreaded. It was the start of a whole weekend of freedom. No work and nothing to fill your time to distract you from the sinking feeling in your chest. You’d been desperately trying to keep yourself busy to not have to deal with all these emotions, all these thoughts, but now you had days to think about it. Buckets of time. 

You took your time getting ready for the day and felt a small rush of relief when the welcomed view of Christa at the kitchen table greeted you. She wasn’t due at work for another couple of hours. 

She looked up when you made your presence known, a bright smile decorating her delicate features as she chirped out a cheery, “Good morning!” 

“Morning.” You tried to reciprocate her attitude, but it wasn’t gonna happen. You hadn’t felt very chipper in almost two weeks. 

Still, that didn’t sour Christa’s mood, and she kept that smile on her face as you grabbed some coffee and sat down across from her. 

“So…,” Christa started, and you immediately tensed, giving her a questioning look with a cocked brow as you sipped your coffee. 

“Yes?” you pressed, watching as Christa gave you an almost bashful look. 

She cleared her throat and picked at the breakfast on her plate, clearly trying to put the words together. You let her take her time, genuinely curious about what could have her so pensive. 

“So, Ymir and I have this friend…,” she began, this time a subtle hint of excitement coloring her words, “and we think you should meet him, because we know he thinks you’re cute. Come out and meet him tonight!” 

Ah. It made sense now. You were surprised how quick Ymir and Christa were sometimes. Just last night you’d been confiding in them about how silly you felt for catching feelings the way you did, and how badly you wanted to just get over it before seeing him again. After all, part of you still wanted to be friends with Eren and have him in your life. Friends with benefits just wasn’t your style. 

And although Ymir had griped about your desire to hopefully resolve this on your own and still be able to talk to Eren one day, it seemed she’d already cooked up a plan with Christa to push you towards what you wanted. 

“Tonight, huh?” you sighed, mulling over the proposition. This was a great chance to start getting over your feelings and start moving on. And weren’t you all about trying new things, going out and trying new experiences? You’d just been getting back into the mindset of meeting new guys after your breakup, and then Eren came along. It had been unfortunate timing, maybe, along with that part of you that was always advocating for doing something new, having coaxed you into thinking it was a good idea to try a friends with benefits situation. Now you knew how you generally felt about it. 

Right now, all you wanted was to distract yourself, and start the process of moving on from these feelings you had. You didn’t want to feel like this anymore. 

“Okay,” you said, nodding once as you decided your next move. “I’ll meet him tonight. Is he going to the lounge with you and Ymir?” 

Christa squealed in delight and hurried over to your side of the kitchen table, embracing you for a moment before plopping herself down on the chair closest to you. 

“This is so exciting! I swear you’ll like him, he’s really nice. And yeah, we’re all meeting up with a group of friends. That way, there’s no pressure in case you’re not interested.” 

Good old Christa. Always looking out for you. The extra tidbit about the “no pressure” clause made you relax considerably, and made you eager to actually go out tonight. It put you in a good mood; something to look forward to tonight, instead of going forward with your actual plans of thinking about how to get over this whole thing with Eren and figure out if you could still be friends.

***

The lounge was little more than a hole in the wall dive bar littered with antique couches, but was quite the hangout spot. If people weren’t at the bar you moonlighted as a bartender at, people were likely holed up in here.

The night was still young, so there wasn’t a huge crowd just yet. It was mostly just your friends there, and stragglers scattered about. Christa had been quick to tug you right over to a boy you’d only ever seen in passing, her eyes shining as she introduced the two of you. 

Jean was kind, and hilarious, and it was easy to melt into a conversation with him. He introduced you to his best friend, Marco, a freckled boy who was just as kind as your own best friend, Christa. 

As the night progressed and the lounge got busier, more crowded, rowdier, you found yourself actually laughing out loud at Jean’s ridiculous jokes, with him playfully blaming your laughter at the drinks you were downing. It was fun, it was casual, and it was just what you needed. 

“I’m gonna get another drink!” you shouted to Jean over the music, but he gently grabbed your wrist and shook his head, offering a signature cheesy smile. 

“I’ll get it for ya,” he assured you. “Same thing you’ve had all night, I’m guessing?” 

“Yes, please,” you laughed. Jean’s grin grew wider, a joke obviously about to leave his lips. 

“Didn’t realize you were so predictable!” 

The words wiped the smile off your face but you tried to save face. It had been a while since someone had made that type of comment about you. Although it was all in jest, harmless in every way, the stab at your heart didn’t feel harmless. Jean had no idea about what you’d gone through. Still, you needed a moment. You stopped him before he could leave, pulling him closer so you could talk into his ear. 

“Actually, get me whatever you’re having,” you told him, then let Jean go, completely oblivious to your internal struggle, and you watched as he waded through the crowd before melting into it. 

As if suddenly all hitting you at once, you realized the alcohol was making your head swim. You needed a moment to yourself, away from the hoards of people around you and the booming music and the atmosphere that was suddenly so stuffy. 

Blindly, you try to find the bathrooms, eyes bleary as they tried hard to find the signage pointing you in the right direction. You ignored everything and everyone once the restroom signs came into focus, hurriedly making your way over and ignoring the way you’d bump into people. Rushed apologies left your mouth, your eyes trained on the restroom signs like they were your lifeline, until a firm hand grabbed you and pulled you farther away from your destination, and closer to them. 

Panic overloaded your senses for a moment, but you calmed down when the stranger easily let you worm out of their grip. 

“What the hell?” you snapped, turning a little too fast to see who it was that had grabbed you like that. Dizziness overtook you and you teetered on your own two legs, and this time, you welcomed the stranger grabbing a hold of you once again in an effort to steady you. 

Once you felt balanced, you thought about whether or not to thank the person who had unsteadied and then steadied you, head swimming even more than before as you tried to formulate words. 

Every thought you had disappeared the moment your eyes met a pair of striking green ones. Eyes that you would know anywhere. 

When Eren said your name, your eyes flitted to his lips, watching the way they moved around the shape of your name. It had felt like such a long time since you’d heard his voice, saying your name. 

You didn’t even notice he’d said it with so much alarm, so much concern, until his eyebrows knit together and he shook you gently. 

“Are you okay?” 

Were you okay? There were a lot of contributing factors to your answer now. 

“I don’t know,” you answered truthfully, heart in your throat. Eren was about to say something, but his face morphed into a startled expression when another hand grabbed at you, and you were met with Jean’s concerned features when you turned to see who was grabbing you this time. 

“Hey, here’s your drink,” Jean told you, voice slightly muffled by the loud music blaring. Why had Eren’s voice sounded so clear to you? 

You took the drink from Jean’s hand after shouting a thank you, turning briefly to Eren to nod at him uncomfortably, as if saying goodbye. Maybe being buzzed was a blessing and a curse right now. If you’d been sober, this encounter would have knocked you off your feet in a metaphorical way instead of a physical way. 

But Eren didn’t let you leave. With his jaw clenched, his hand shot forward again and grabbed your arm a little forcefully, yanking you closer to him as he shot a glare Jean’s way. Your drink sloshed around and spilled onto the floor, making you protest, but Eren tilted his head down to meet your eyes. 

“Who’s he?” he asked you, and you had trouble finding the words to answer. Your face blazed hot as you tried to think of what to say, but Eren gave you no time to think. He grabbed the drink in your hand and shoved it back to Jean, then murmured into your ear, “I think you’ve had enough.” Before you could really register what was happening, Eren was dragging you away, towards the front entrance. 

“Eren, stop!” you demanded, but he wasn’t listening to you. 

“Let’s go outside and talk,” he said over his shoulder, but it came out as more of a demand than a request. You followed along. One look over your shoulder told you that you’d lost Jean in the crowd, as well as the friends you’d come here with. It was just a blur of faces and bodies all around you, and Eren was the only anchor you had keeping you tethered. 

The late summer night outside of the lounge was a startling difference from the stuffy atmosphere in the lounge, and your ears rang from the sudden quiet that enveloped you. The music and chatter floated out from the lounge in a ghostly cadence, and you registered a few cars driving past. A drizzle had begun, wetting the streets and sidewalks, and everything seemed to glow under the lights of your town, reflecting off wet surfaces. 

“Why won’t you talk to me?” 

Eren’s question was filled with an emotion you’d never heard from him before. His tone was filled with desperation, confusion, and even hurt. His eyes were filled with the same emotions. It startled you, and you had no idea what to say. 

“I…,” you started, but nothing else came out. 

Eren’s eyes pleaded with you, hand reaching out as if aching to just touch you, and suddenly you were full of the realization that you also wanted to touch him more than anything. 

“I just want to talk,” he pleaded, and he looked pained as he forced his hand back down to his side. His eyes flickered towards the doors of the lounge. “Who was that guy?” 

“None of your business,” you said, the words coming out of your mouth before you had time to think them through. Eren looked as taken aback as you felt, and then his desperation turned into complete hurt. 

“What did I do?” he asked, voice thick with emotion as he took a tentative step forward. “Did I get it wrong? Did I...did I scare you off when I said I wanted to talk, a couple of weeks ago?” 

The memories came rushing back and you stiffened. Eren, the girl, the hurt, the shame. You couldn’t meet his eyes. You wished you could communicate better than this, but these were new waters you’d never navigated before. You'd never fallen for a friend before. You'd never gotten yourself into such a murky situation before. 

“I don’t think we should be friends anymore,” you finally uttered out. The words broke your heart to say out loud, but it was all too clear now. Having Eren in front of you like this, begging you to talk to him, and knowing how you felt and knowing that he didn’t feel the same...it was clear. You couldn’t be his friend and watch him be with someone else. It would be too hard. You’d always think of him as _more_. Maybe it was you that wasn't as good of a friend as you thought you were. 

Eren didn’t speak for a minute and you kept your gaze down unable to look him in the eye. All of this was very sobering; it felt like any alcohol that had been running through you was suddenly gone. 

“ _Why_?” he asked finally. The hurt in his voice forced you to look at him. He looked shattered and more confused than ever. “Listen, just...just tell me what’s going on. Where is this coming from? Why can’t we be friends?” 

“We just can’t be friends,” you tried to explain, but your brain was so muddled. How could you tell Eren all of the reasons why you had to stay away from him? Would he laugh at you? Would he be mad? None of the outcomes seemed good for you, and you couldn't take any more hurt from Eren. 

“Is it because of that guy?” 

Eren’s demeanor changed in a flash. In the time it took you to blink, he’d gone from hurt and sad to angry, frustrated. “Why him?” 

You looked at him, bewildered. “What-” 

“He’s scum,” Eren quipped, and you felt your body flare in anger. 

“You don’t even know him, so don't bring Jean up and leave him alone,” you snapped back, and that deflated Eren a little bit. The sound of Jean’s name rattled him. Still, he took a deep breath, and stepped even closer to you. You stepped back, until your back was pressed against the brick wall of the building. 

“Who is he?” 

“He’s my friend.” 

Eren processed your answer, something flickering behind his gaze, and he took one more step towards you to cage you in his arms. His palms were flat against the bricks, on either side of your head, and you could smell the whiskey on his breath, and you were sure he could smell it on yours. 

"Friend, like just a friend? Or friend, like how you and I are friends?" he asked. From the tone of his voice, it sounded like he didn't want to know the answer. 

"Eren...," you sighed, tears threatening to brim your eyes. "He's just my friend, and you and I can't be friends. Okay?" 

Your answer seemed to calm him down. Eren was quick to change the subject once he realized he could forget about Jean.

“Let’s go,” he whispered, eyes back to pleading. “Get out of here with me. I need to talk to you. I need to know why.” 

Your heart thrashed in your chest at how close Eren was. Just a tilt of your head and your lips could brush together. He was so close and your heart was beating so loud that you swore he could hear. His words blended in your head and didn't really make any sense. 

And then Eren dropped his head so that his nose could nudge against yours, forehead pressing to yours after. 

It took your breath away. 

“Please,” he whispered. “Let’s go somewhere. Please. We need to talk." 

Although you were frozen in place, your insides felt like they were thrashing about, fighting and raging against themselves. Your head and your heart were at war with each other and you weren’t sure which was going to win this fight. Head saying one thing, saying not to do this to yourself, and heart saying the complete opposite. You had to decide between listening to your head and your heart, and you had to decide now. 

Your eyes flickered to Eren's, eyes that begged you for an answer. 

Your head and your heart raged with one another, both begging you to decide who would win. 

You took a deep breath when one of them finally won out.


	9. One in a Million

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!! I know I've been giving you some angst ( _and_ a cliffhanger), so let's get some answers today from fuccboi Eren. Here's the next song on the Musician!Eren playlist for this chapter's vibes: 
> 
> **Streets - Doja Cat**

Your heart had won out, much to your chagrin, but you couldn’t stop yourself from nodding and biting your lower lip. Eren’s eyes held your gaze as you nodded, the intensity making his eyes smolder. 

“Okay,” you breathed out, letting a breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. “Let’s go somewhere and talk.” 

The intensity in Eren’s eyes quelled at your words, but his face was still stoic as he leaned away from you and gave you some space. He held his hand out for you to take but you shoved your hands in your pockets defiantly; sure, Eren hypnotized you into agreeing to speak with him, but you’d be damned if you let yourself fall back into patterns you knew would hurt you in the long run.

“Where to?” you asked him, and Eren said nothing. He merely nodded in the direction he wanted to start walking in, and let you follow his lead. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him as you walked. It was starting to make you bitter. Always staring, always looking at him. Ever since you’d first met. Eren had even picked up on it, and constantly repeated those same words he had the first night you’d met. _Thanks for staring at me._

Got to look, even got to touch, but never got to claim. 

It was painfully silent as you walked beside each other. Like hell were you going to break the silence first. Eren was the one who wanted to talk, not you. It might have been a little petty, but you were steadfast in your resolve to stay quiet and wait for him to say something. But maybe the way you kept eyeing him said more than words ever could. 

Vaguely, you understood where Eren was headed after a couple of minutes. It was in the general direction to his studio apartment, and you huffed a little at his audacity, about to stop in your tracks and try to think up some haughty comment about it, but Eren finally broke the ice between you two. 

He scoffed suddenly, shoulders tense as you walked together. “ _Jean_. What a stupid name. He’s guaranteed to be a loser.” 

Your eyes blazed in fury and you shoved him a little, then folded your arms across your chest. “Why are you talking shit on Jean? Why does it bother you that I was hanging out with him? It shouldn’t bother you.” 

You had stopped in your tracks now, with Eren also stopping and looking at you in confusion, his brows knit together. His mouth was open like he wanted to say something, but no words came out. There. You had him. You’d spoken the truth and he had no idea what to say. He was getting that same dose of reality he’d inadvertently given to you that fateful day, weeks ago. 

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose in exasperation, eyes now on the sidewalk as you whispered, “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. I think I’m gonna head back.” 

Before you could even fully turn back the way you’d come, Eren was blocking your way. His eyes were smoldering again, that all too familiar look of determination set on his face. 

“Eren-” 

“Tell me again why we can’t be friends,” he demanded. 

Now it was you who was at a loss for words. Your lips parted, willing any words to come out, but none came. Was he really going to do this out here? Right now? He was so _infuriating_. And though you felt like this whole experience was sobering, you still felt those awful traces of alcohol pounding in your brain, swirling your thoughts, making you unable to really think straight. All of it was annoying. Everything about the situation you were stuck in made you want to scream. Made you want to scream so loud that it woke the world up. 

So you did the only thing you could think of that would keep you quiet. With a glare, you grabbed Eren by the collar of his shirt and reeled him in, pressing your lips to his in a heated, hard, rough kiss that felt like it instantly bruised your lips. To your surprise, you felt Eren seem to relax under your touch, a slow exhale releasing from his nose. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Eren’s arms circled around your waist and pulled you to him. It felt the same as it always did, as though you hadn’t been away from him for weeks. 

Everything you’d been feeling, everything you’d felt for Eren, you poured into that kiss. How hard you’d fallen, how much you hated how hard you’d fallen, how much you missed him, how much it bothered you that you missed him, and every other emotion in between. It was hard, and it was scary, but it also felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. The burden was no longer yours to bear. You’d let it float away from you. 

When you broke away from Eren, his arms stayed snug around you, not allowing you to be any farther than he wanted you to be. He held you close, his breathing now a little ragged, but he was otherwise composed. A firm kiss was pressed into your forehead and you closed your eyes with a sigh, the tension slowly dissolving from your body. This wasn’t how you’d planned the night to go, and this wasn’t how you’d planned things to be resolved with Eren; so why did you finally feel so at peace? 

In a moment of bravery, you tilted your head up to meet Eren’s gaze, trying to decipher what he could have been thinking. His eyes held a new understanding, a new form of intensity, as it all clicked together in his head. 

“You want to be more than friends.” The way the sentence rolled off his tongue made it come out as a statement, not a question. It made heat creep up your neck and flourish in your cheeks, and you tried to hide your face, but when Eren realized that you were trying to hide, he cupped your face with both hands to keep your eyes on his. 

You didn’t nod, or say a word to answer, but you knew that Eren didn’t need confirmation from you. Still, you decided to answer in the form of a light brush of your lips against his, throwing all inhibitions to the wind. Eren was responsive to that, thumbs caressing your burning cheeks. This all felt so scary, and at the same time surreal. 

“I saw you.” It took every ounce of courage to finally say it out loud to him. You continued when you saw how confused Eren looked. “I saw you with a girl, at a cafe a couple of weeks ago. I don’t think you knew that I worked there. But I saw you and she looked so comfortable with you and then she…” 

You couldn’t say it out loud, not when it had been the most heart-breaking thing to see with your own eyes. Instead, you pressed your lips together in frustration and looked Eren straight in the eye as you lifted a hand to brush the pad of your forefinger along the tip of his nose, a semi-reenactment of the gesture he always did with you. 

“She did that with you. And you let her. And I thought you only did that with me. And I’m sorry, I wish I could be your friend through everything, but...I can’t watch you with other girls. I can’t watch you do the things you do with me, with other girls. I’m...just tired of being treated like I’m not special. I _am_ special.” 

By now, Eren’s eyes were full of understanding. And guilt. He swallowed thickly and moved a hand away from your cheek to run through his hair, a sigh blowing out of his lips, no longer looking at you. He looked so sad just then, and you almost felt bad about what you’d said. 

“That wasn’t at all what it looked like,” he whispered finally, eyes back on you. Even though you wanted to be stronger, you saw the honesty in his gaze and couldn’t help but believe him. “I swear...that wasn’t what you thought it was.” Both of Eren’s hands were back to cradling your face, his eyes intense as he tried to find something in yours. “Why didn’t you tell me? I wish you would have told me instead of avoiding me.” 

You tensed up a little, your brows knitting together as the words tumbled out. “Because it made me realize you’re not mine, Eren. I was embarrassed and I just wanted some space to try and get over it and see if we could still be friends even though you don’t feel the same as I do.” 

Eren’s eyes widened, and there was even a spark of anger that flickered behind them as he struggled to find the words.

“You think I don’t feel the same?” he asked after a moment that felt like an eternity. His voice was hard. 

You nodded. 

“I saw you the second I walked into that lounge,” he admitted suddenly. “I saw you with your friends, and with that asshole, Jean. I was staring at you the entire night. Like I always do.” 

That confused you. 

“What?” you whispered, not being able to comprehend. Eren gave a small half-smile, raising a brow as if what he was saying was so obvious. 

“I’m always staring at you,” he confessed. “ _Always_. Ever since that first night. I saw you first. I was staring first, before you even realized you were looking my way. I could tell you were special. And you’ve been special to me since we met.” 

The confession hit you hard and yet it still didn’t feel real. So it hadn’t been the other way around. All those times Eren had teased you for staring, thanked you for staring. The whole premise of the inside joke was always centered around you staring. And now you were being told that it had a deeper meaning to him. Because he was staring, too. He’d been looking at you, too.

Slowly, a grin perked up your lips, and you watched the way Eren’s cheeks colored when you said, “Thank you for staring at me.”

***

Your head hit one of Eren’s pillows with a soft thud as he threw you down onto his bed, both of your chests heaving with labored breaths. He yanked off his shirt roughly before moving to hover over your already shirtless body, his mouth finding your neck instantly. You felt love bites forming as he nipped and sucked at the skin, his tongue soothing the harsh nips in the most delightful way. In the way that was familiar to you now. 

“I missed you,” he murmured into your skin, not for the first time that night. You’d practically raced back to his building after your confessions outside, with Eren constantly whispering those words to you as he snuck you into dimly lit places and mumbled against your lips for some quick, stolen kisses. _Missed you, missed you, missed you…_

And now he was saying it again, and again, and again, after every love bite he marked on you. 

“Missed you too,” you breathed out, eyes fluttering closed when Eren placed softer kisses along the tender spot of your neck. Right now, you didn’t feel embarrassed to admit it. The more things you admitted to Eren that you’d previously held secret within you, the lighter you felt. No more burdens, no more heaviness, no more carrying all of these unsaid things alone. 

And then his lips were on yours while he worked to take your bottoms off, your own hands fumbling with his jeans and his briefs. The two of you felt the other trembling, and the feeling that that realization brought you was indescribable. 

It hadn’t been that long since you had last been like this with Eren, but once you were fully bared to him, trembling and warm and yearning for him, it felt like it was the first time. The vulnerability of being so exposed suddenly snuck up on you and you found yourself nervous and curling into yourself, hands moving to cover your body, thighs pressing together. His eyes were roaming over your body, drinking you in. Eren was quick to figure out what you were doing, and even quicker in coaxing you to relax. His hands gently gripped your wrists and moved them up by your head, where he took the liberty of intertwining his fingers with yours. And then he went right back to mapping out your body with his eyes, memorizing every single curve. He especially took his time admiring the marks he’d made on you.

You squirmed underneath him, eyes pleading though he deliberately refused to meet your gaze. You knew he wanted to take his time with you, but you were so impatient. Your mind was muddled with questions and wanting and demands. 

“Stop staring at me,” you whispered, but your voice held a teasing lilt to it. The words that broke through the heavy silence between you were enough to grab his attention and make him meet your eyes, where he saw everything you were feeling once again. 

“Always gonna stare at you,” he replied quickly, and then he was tenderly guiding your thighs apart with his knees to accommodate himself between them, body pressing down against yours so that there was hardly an inch of space between the two of you. You could feel how hard he was, erection brushing along your inner thigh. 

You felt as though you were in a million different places at once, your mind swirling and racing a mile a minute. All of this was borderline overwhelming to you. After such a long time of not being around Eren, of not having him like this, it was almost too much to suddenly have him all over you. 

You were about to tell Eren that, tell him that you needed to just breathe for a second, until he caught your gaze and seemed to understand. He leaned closer and you parted your lips, expecting a kiss, but to your surprise, Eren brushed the tip of his nose against yours. 

Without warning, instead of the usual delight the action brought, your brain moved towards darker waters. The memory made you freeze. The memory of Eren, with the girl, with her leaning in to touch her nose to his. You had fought it off earlier, when Eren had done it outside of the lounge to try and get you to talk to him. But now, while you were frenzied and overwhelmed, the memory came full force and caught you by the throat, forcing you to remember. He hadn’t fully explained what it was that you saw that day. Both of you had been so enthralled in the joys of sharing mutual feelings. He’d skipped past the explanation, and that didn’t sit right with you. 

You couldn’t do this with him. You couldn’t gloss over an explanation. 

Eren sensed your hesitance and also froze, moving his face so that his hovered over yours. He looked confused, and a little worried.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked. 

You bit your lip, not knowing how to bring it up.

“You didn’t,” you assured him, but scooted out from beneath him. Eren let you, but he stayed close by, a hand subconsciously reaching for you. He needed to touch you, needed the constant reminder that you were there with him. 

“What’s wrong?” he whispered. 

“I need you to tell me about her,” you replied, your finger once again brushing against the tip of his nose. Eren softened, knowing what you meant, but the hurt returned to his eyes. 

“I’m not with her,” he said immediately. “That was Mina. You’ve met her before.” 

The name brought a face to mind, blurred but enough to remember. You’d barely been able to make her out since her back had been turned to you, but the head of hair from the cafe matched the person’s features in your mind. You raised a brow, silently urging him to continue even though you had an idea where this was going, and he did. 

“Reiner and Connie were always joking that she had a crush on me but I didn’t pay it much attention. She’s a sweet girl but I just...you know. And then she asked me to go to lunch with her to talk about some stuff, and I thought she meant, like, band stuff. I really had no clue that she wanted to talk about how she felt about me. And then she just started letting it all out, and asking about you, and what was going on with us, but she didn’t give me any room to talk. Then she leaned over and...did what I do with you. But I swear, nothing had ever happened with her. Ever. She said she did it because she saw us doing it and thought it would...convince me to think about going out with her. I don’t know. But I swear, that was all. I just kind of sat there and let her, and I know that makes me a jackass, but I was too shocked to do anything or say anything at first. Because it was so ironic. That was the night _I_ wanted to tell _you_ about how I felt. And then it all just went to shit.” 

You let Eren ramble on and on, hanging on to each word, and your gut didn’t tell you that he was being dishonest, or hiding the truth. He looked so sincere. He looked so defeated about how this had turned out. 

But you had never felt so relieved. The feeling was almost euphoric, adding to your already overwhelmed state of being, and you couldn’t help the small laugh that left you. 

It was all so simple, and also so complicated, and so ironic, like Eren had said. 

“We don’t have to do anything tonight,” Eren told you, and you smiled at him gently, relieved yet again. “I just want to be with you, if that’s okay.”

“I think that’s okay,” you said, a hand on his chest. It trailed up to cup his cheek, and Eren leaned into your chest, eyes still a little frenzied, like he was afraid you didn’t believe him, or afraid that you were still upset, or about to run away from him.

“I swear that’s all that happened,” Eren went on, but you pressed your thumb to his lips to stop him from rambling again. 

“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” you whispered, your own guilt washing through you. “I’m not very good at this.” 

“Me neither,” Eren lamented, and the two of you shared shy smiles. 

Your limbs tangled with each other once again, but this time, it was much more innocent. Eren’s fingers played with your hair, making you relax, and you pecked his shoulder softly as you tried to settle in his arms, tried to just sleep it off. Still, you were buzzing, restless. And you didn’t know why. 

“Stay here tonight,” Eren murmured into your ear, and you hesitated for a moment before nodding just once. 

“Okay,” you whispered back, an arm loosely draped over his torso. 

Your body still felt so fidgety, so restless, like electricity was whirring through you. It felt like there was no way to stop it, until Eren’s voice filled your ears, humming a tune that sounded both familiar and yet unfamiliar. You focused on it, tried to piece together where you’d heard it before, but eventually succumbed to how relaxed the tune made you feel. The song was beautiful and sounded so soft, with Eren humming it into your ear. 

It was just what you needed to be lulled to sleep, snug in Eren’s arms.


	10. In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Only one chapter to go and I am in shambles about it, but we made it!! It's going to be so sad to wrap this story up since I had so much fun with it, but it's time to give these two the ending they deserve. I originally wasn't going to comment on this, and thought about just having it be up to interpretation, but this chapter's song is personally what I envisioned as Eren's song to the reader. Without further ado, here is this chapter's vibes from the Musician!Eren playlist: 
> 
> **Angels - The xx**

I love you. 

_Eren’s silky, low voice floats into your ears as you drift between the land of sleeping and waking. You’re floating, not quite dreaming, not quite awake, and Eren’s voice and all the things he’s saying seem to keep you in limbo, rather than push you one way or another._

I am so in love with you, _he says._

_You must be dreaming, because this doesn’t feel real. How could this be real? How silly._

_Your eyes snap open and you take in a big breath, the darkness engulfing you and Eren as the moonlight trickles in through his window. You feel Eren press a sleepy kiss to your shoulder, and the evenness of his breathing tells you he’s asleep. Dreaming, like you had been dreaming._

_It’s hard to determine if you’re asleep or not. So, you close your eyes again and try to get to your dream again, and hear those beautiful words you want to hear from Eren._

_In your mind, you think of the words that you can’t say out loud._

I love you, too.

***

Sleep had come fitfully all night despite your best efforts to get rid of the restlessness in your mind and body. You had no idea what was causing it. Eren had you in an iron grip in his arms, making it difficult to toss and turn other than shifting positions in his embrace, but that didn’t keep your mind from swirling with thoughts. You were happy that at least someone was sleeping peacefully; Eren looked serene beside you, breath puffing at your neck as he held you close, his face relaxed and innocent. You watched him sleep, hoping it would inspire you to get some shut-eye, but sleep never really came. Your mind felt so jumbled and so alive with all the thoughts that danced around inside. There was one that skittered around the corners of your mind, one you couldn’t quite catch and identify, and you chased after it all night to figure out what it was. 

The chasing hadn’t stopped even by the time the first rays of sun had appeared from Eren’s window, the sky changing from inky blacks to delicate hues of azure and apricot. It was so peaceful, _this_ was peaceful, so why couldn’t you welcome that peace inside of you? 

It confused you and it irritated you. This was what you’d wanted, right? You’d wanted all of this. You’d wanted all of _Eren_. And now he was giving himself to you, wasn’t he? Hadn’t he explained everything to you? Hadn’t you already explained yourself to him? What was the hold up? Why couldn’t your mind and heart just finally cooperate with each other? 

As the sunrise finally broke through, you sat up in Eren’s bed and looked down at him. He had eventually loosened his grip on you during the night, and one arm rested under his pillow while the other was still gently draped across your lap. It made you smile. He didn’t move when you sat up, his breathing still steady, and you carefully removed his arm from your lap so you could move around better. You reached across him to grab your phone, mostly checking for the time, but a slew of texts and notifications attacked your vision as you unlocked your screen. 

There were texts from Christa, Ymir, and a bunch of other friends wondering where you’d gone. There were also a few texts from a _Maybe: Jean_ , which suddenly made your heart weight down in pure guilt. Though the earlier part of the night was a haze from the alcohol, you remembered leaving Jean high and dry once you’d bumped into Eren. 

Not very nice of you. 

Suddenly, the thought that had been escaping you all night felt like a neon sign at the front of your mind. 

It felt too good to be true. And, in a way, this was too good to be true. You’d completely let yourself run away from the real world to be with Eren. You’d ditched your friends, you’d ditched your sort-of-date for the evening, all to be with Eren. And even though things felt fixed between the two of you, there was still that nagging thought that there was something off. 

With a long sigh, you slowly got up from his bed and began getting dressed, sneaking glances to him every now and then to make sure he didn’t wake up. You didn’t want to wake him, but you also didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. At the same time, you needed some fresh air, away from Eren, so you could think clearly. Because, clearly, you weren’t thinking clearly.

You grabbed a sticky note pad and a pen, scribbling down a quick message to leave it on his nightstand by his phone.

_**Had to go home, talk to you later today, I promise.** _

You stuck it where you felt he’d best see it and then snuck out of his place, the guilt never settling. If anything, it was only getting worse as you called an Uber, and then anchoring down in your heart as you got closer to your place.

***

“There you are!” Christa exclaimed once you got home. You’d attempted to be quiet, seeing as it was still so early, but Christa and Ymir were already in the kitchen and having coffee. The aroma wafted around you and you groaned, needing some caffeine after a night of no sleep. You tossed your phone into your bag, which you dropped onto the couch as you headed over to where they both sat, letting the promise of caffeine guide you. 

“Yeah, where the hell did you run off to? We were worried about you,” Ymir said, but the way she said it, and the way she looked at you, told you that she already knew the answer. 

“I...ran into Eren last night,” you confessed. Christa gasped but Ymir remained unsurprised. 

“Told ya,” Ymir said, smug as she glanced sideways at Christa. 

“No way!” Christa breathed out, eyes wide. “What happened?” 

“He said he wanted to talk, so I followed him out of the lounge, and things just...got complicated from there,” you said, walking over to pour yourself a cup of coffee and sit with them. “I finally told him how I felt and...I guess he feels the same way.”

While Christa gasped again, Ymir scoffed. Christa was about to say something, but Ymir cut her off.

“So you decided it was okay to leave without telling anyone just to go talk to the asshole who made you sad? You really worried us. You really worried Jean, you know.” 

You sighed, playing with your hair as you set down your cup of coffee; you couldn’t meet Ymir’s hard stare. The guilt ate at you. There were loose ends you had to tie up before you could sit Eren down and have a more serious conversation. 

“It was dumb. I was drunk but that’s not an excuse and I’m sorry for running off like that. I really didn’t think it through,” you apologized, eyes remorseful as they landed on Ymir and Christa. 

Christa, of course, forgave you instantly, and you saw that Ymir did too, but you were also very aware that she’d give you a harder time for it.

Ymir took a sip of her coffee, her eyes on you, and you finally dared to meet her gaze. She didn’t look mad and you visibly relaxed at that, but you knew she wouldn’t let you get off easy. Understandable. 

“Well? What did he have to say for himself?” she asked you, and Christa’s eyes brightened with obvious curiosity. 

“Yeah, did he tell you who that girl was? Does he really feel the same way? What did you guys talk about? Did you guys…?” At that last question, Christa trailed off but gave you a knowing grin, leaning in closer to you over the table as she waited for your answer. 

You felt the heat creep up your neck and into your face as you shook your head quickly, clutching your mug of coffee tighter.

“No! We didn’t do...anything. Nothing happened,” you replied, carefully evading how something almost happened. “We just talked. He explained what happened...that day. The day I saw him. I just feel...I don’t know.” 

“What? Now you don’t want to be with him?” Ymir asked, her eyes glinting at the thought. You sighed heavily and then groaned, tilting your head up to stare at the ceiling.

“It’s not that. It just feels...too easy, I guess?” 

“Too _easy_? This has been the most dramatic situation I’ve had to hear about in a hot minute,” Ymir snorted, taking another sip of her coffee. Christa nudged her but she just shrugged, setting down her mug to wrap an arm around Christa. “I’m just saying! Nothing about this has been easy.” 

At this point, Ymir was gossiping to Christa more than she was talking to you, which tended to happen often enough. Even if it was about you.

“Well, I don’t know how else to explain it,” you sighed. “It just feels surreal, you know? I guess I just didn’t expect him to actually feel the same way. I wasn’t…” 

“You weren’t ready?” Christa chimed in, her voice soft. 

“Maybe,” you whispered back. “It was so stagnant. I really thought it was over and I’d never be with him again. It’s just a lot. And I really do feel guilty for what happened last night. All of it was so confusing.” 

Christa made a sympathetic noise and reached across the table to take your hand, and you squeezed her hand gratefully as you shot her smile. As she opened her mouth to say something else, a heavy pounding sounded at your front door and all three of you jumped in surprise, turning your attention to the noise. 

“It’s goddamn six in the morning!” Ymir shouted as she hurried over to yank open the door. “Who the hell - oh. It’s you.” 

Your heart leapt to your throat as Eren practically shoved his way into your apartment, his eyes fixating on you the moment they landed on you. He called out your name to demand your attention, and the sound of your name off his lips made your heart skip a beat. 

“Eren,” you squeaked, ears up to your shoulders in pure surprise as he made his way over to where you were at the kitchen table. You stood up to meet him, but ended up freezing at the side of the table, leaning against it for support. 

He looked so angry. His eyes were stormy, brows knit together, cheeks flushed red with his anger, but above all that...he looked so hurt. The closer he got to you, the more you saw the hurt etched on his face. 

“Why did you leave?” he demanded, voice catching at the end. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, barely registering Ymir and Christa scurrying to Christa’s room. “I left a note, Eren. I had to come home.” 

“You could have waited for me to wake up,” he shot back, anger slowly dissolving. Now, all you could see was the hurt. “Why didn’t you wait for me? Why did you leave without telling me?” 

And suddenly, the dam inside you broke. Everything that had kept you up last night tumbled out of your mouth, with you unable to stop yourself. It was all unfiltered, unedited. 

“This is overwhelming, Eren! Not even twenty-four hours ago, I thought our friendship was over. And then, like always, you came blazing into my life and gave me whiplash. I made a mess of things last night. I have a lot of loose ends to tie up after leaving like that with you. And part of me...part of me can’t compute that you have feelings for me. I’m just confused. Where do we go from here? There’s still so much that we have to talk about. I just...I needed to breathe for a second. I’m sorry for leaving. I didn’t realize it would upset you like that.” 

You were apologizing a lot today. But, that was a good start. You did have a lot to apologize for, after all. 

You’d hoped that the hurt would ebb away from Eren’s face after you explained yourself. If anything, it only seemed to amplify. 

“Didn’t you hear me last night?” he asked you, his voice much quieter now. 

“I heard you,” you assured him. “I heard every word. I believe that the whole thing with Mina was a huge misunderstanding. I wish I would have just...asked you about it. I heard every word you said. I’m not doubting how you feel. I just need a breather. I’m new to this. I’m not used to someone feeling like this for me.” 

Eren sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair; it still looked like bedhead, like he’d hurried to get here. You realized that he must have woken up not long after you’d left. 

“That’s not what I meant,” he murmured, his cheeks flushed again, but this time out of what appeared to be embarrassment. “Didn’t you hear me...last night? When we were in bed? I thought you were awake.” 

“What? What are you talking about?” You tried to think back to what he could have been referring to, but nothing was coming to mind. Other than…

“Are you being serious or are you just being ignorant?” Eren asked harshly, and the words stung you instantly. 

He saw the hurt flash across your eyes and softened when he realized what he’d said, shoulders slumping. 

Eren rummaged through the book bag slung over his body, his eyes shifting from hurt to determined as he pulled out a record and set it down on the kitchen table. You looked down at it in surprise, then back to him, your mind and your throat bubbling with questions. When your eyes met again, Eren looked a little apologetic, but the hurt still danced across the green of his eyes. 

“If you didn’t hear what I said last night, you should listen to that,” he said. “It should tell you everything you need to know.” 

“Eren…,” you whispered, reaching out to him. The words got stuck in your throat, and you didn’t know what else to say or do. Eren gave a small smile, stepping forward to brush a gentle hand across your cheek. You leaned into his touch, comforted by it. 

“If time’s what you need, I’ll give that to you,” he said, his tone reassuring. Before you could respond, he took a step back and headed back towards the front door. He opened it and then looked over his shoulder, eyes unreadable this time. “Just listen to that, okay?” 

“Okay.” You nodded once, wanting nothing more than to run after him and make him stay and explain it to you right then and there, but Eren was gone before your body could catch up to your brain. 

You picked up the record and turned it around in your hands, inspecting it curiously. It was plain and black, no title or art on it to indicate or hint at what it could have been, and you padded over to Christa’s room without much thought. 

“Christa?” you called tentatively, giving a soft knock to her door. “Do you still have that record player of yours?” 

Her door flung open before you could even finish asking the question. She pulled you into her room, where Ymir laid on her bed, and then Christa was flying about her room, tearing it apart until she finally tugged out her old record player. 

“Of course! Did Eren give that to you?” she asked as you took the record player from her.

“Duh, Christa,” Ymir said from her place on Christa’s bed, and you shot her glare. Your look softened as you turned back to Christa with a soft smile. 

“Yeah, he gave it to me before he left,” you said, hugging the record to your chest. “I don’t know what he put on it, but he said to listen to it.” 

“Can we listen with you?” Christa asked, eyes shining with hope, and this time Ymir’s interruption was welcomed. 

“Leave her alone, Christa,” she warned her girlfriend, and the look you shot her was a grateful one as you left Christa’s bedroom. 

“I’ll talk to you later,” you promised as you shut the door behind you and hurried to your own bedroom, setting up the record player in a hurry. 

As you set the record to play, the tune that danced into your ears was instantly familiar. It only took a moment to place where you’d heard it before. 

It was what Eren had hummed to you last night, yes, but then you remembered how it had sounded so familiar to you last night too, and this time you could get lost in your thoughts and memories to try and pinpoint where you’d heard it before. 

And then Eren’s voice sang out to you, the lyrics stealing your breath away as the memory hit you like a truck. 

He’d shown you the beginnings of this song, weeks and weeks ago, after one of the nights he’d performed at the venue. He’d played it out for you after expressing it was only an idea so far. It wasn’t finished at all, and he only had the beginning of it in his head. What had he said that night, after playing for you what he’d had so far? 

_Can’t figure out the chorus yet._

Tears welled up in your eyes.

“Guess he figured it out,” you choked out to nobody in particular, frantically wiping away the tears in your eyes. 

The song was all about being in love. Specifically, Eren being in love with you. The lyrics held snippets of your story together, but the chorus...it was nothing short of his declaration of love. 

_Didn’t you hear me last night?_

Those had been his words earlier. He looked confused and hurt and afraid. He’d held the look only a boy in love could hold in his eyes, after telling someone he loved them. 

“I thought it had been a dream,” you murmured to yourself, voice shuddering as you tried desperately not to cry. But you couldn’t wipe the tears away fast enough; they kept coming even as you wiped them away.

It hadn’t been a dream. Eren had really whispered those words to you last night, holding you close to him. He told you he loved you. And now he was telling you again, through a song. He was telling _everyone_ how much he loved you with this song.

Even as it ended, you let it play on a loop, curling up around the record player as Eren’s voice and his music filled you to your core. You eventually let the tears fall freely, a watery smile on your face as everything finally became crystal clear. 

He loved you. Eren loved you. And he was willing to tell the whole world that he loved you. 

And you loved him too. 

He was your best friend and you loved him. 

Even though you felt like you could listen to his song - your song - forever, you eventually let it end for good, carefully fiddling with the record player and taking your record with your song out to place it on your nightstand. You wiped at your face and got yourself cleaned up before heading back out to the living room, where you could hear Christa and Ymir watching TV and chatting. They both quieted down and paused the TV when you came in, their eyes unabashedly inquisitive as they waited for you to say something. 

“We heard you playing the same fucking song for like an hour,” Ymir finally piped up, ignoring the swat to her arm delivered by Christa. “What was that all about?” 

You smiled shyly and sat on the armchair perpendicular to the sofa where they both sat. Instead of answering directly, you directed your next words to Ymir.

“Is Eren’s band playing tonight at the bar?” you asked, and she nodded in confirmation.

“Yeah, should be absolutely crazy tonight,” she confirmed. “Why? You wanna pick up my shift?”

“I’ll start picking up more shifts from now on,” you promised her. “But tonight I just need to talk to Eren. I think I’m gonna surprise him there.” 

Christa gave you a warm smile, one that made you feel less nervous about your plan.

“He wrote you a song?” she guessed. You nodded. 

“He told me exactly what I needed to hear,” you said. 

And now the hardest part was coming. Now you had to wait.

***

As predicted, and as expected, the bar was packed to the brim with people who were there for the show tonight. You wove through the crowd, eyes scanning every face for the one you most wanted to see. 

You’d come alone instead of carpooling with Ymir. It had been a long day of setting things straight. You got yourself ready for the day, both mentally and physically, and went about correcting some of the mistakes you’d made the night before. The biggest thing you wanted to correct was apologizing to Jean by treating him to coffee and explaining yourself. He took it in stride and was just glad that you were okay, which still made you feel bad, but also relieved you. Chatting with him helped keep your mind off of tonight, to the point where time had flown by enough that you had to hurry to get to the bar, mind buzzing again with all sorts of thoughts. 

Although the rational part of your mind was assuring you that there was nothing to worry about, there was still that nagging fear inside of you, the little voice that had appeared after that awful ex-boyfriend had instilled those horrible beliefs inside of you. It was the voice that made you feel like you weren’t special. It was the voice that didn’t belong to you. 

Once and for all, you made yourself deaf to it and followed your own voice in your head, the one that told you that things weren’t too good to be true, and that you deserved happiness. 

That was what pushed you into the bar and into the crowd, searching for Eren. You were making your way to the upstairs section, since he didn’t seem to be on stage setting up with Connie and Reiner. The walk there was slow, considering the amount of people you had to maneuver around, and by the time you got to the door that got you upstairs, the lights dimmed and everyone began to clap. 

Connie’s voice reverberated through the venue and you turned to look at the stage, heart stuttering wildly when you saw that familiar head of brown hair in a messy bun, back turned to you as he helped Reiner with the drums. Whatever jokes Connie was telling didn’t register in your mind. All you could see was Eren, all you could focus on was Eren. 

Your feet were leading you away from the stairs and towards the front of the stage, pushing past people until you were at the very front, visible to the band as they performed. 

“Enjoy the show!” Connie exclaimed, which made the crowd burst into cheers and applause, and you watched as he let Eren take the center stage so he could get to his guitar and set himself up. 

You looked up at Eren, who looked so comfortable up on stage, and almost ethereal in a way, and you just had to grin. He was so in his element. How had you never noticed before? But you knew the answer. You’d spent too much time in your self-doubt, wearing noise canceling headphones or earplugs, and you’d never given yourself the chance to really see Eren like this. In fact, this was the first time you were at the very front like this, showing your support. 

Eren leaned into the mic, about to say something, but his words died in his throat as his eyes landed on you. The two of you gazed at each other, emotions almost physically vibrating between you, and you finally broke the spell by flashing him an encouraging smile. 

_I love you_ , you mouthed to him, unable to wait to have him hear the words with his own ears. 

Eren broke out into one of his infectious grins, his hands gripping the mic harder, and he ducked his head shyly as the mic picked up a small sigh of relief and a quiet laugh from him, which made you almost dizzy with happiness. 

When he looked up again, he looked straight at you as he spoke.

“I want to start with a new song tonight,” he said, earning a few cheers. He turned to his bandmates to get the okay, and they nodded their approval. Eren turned back, his eyes on you again. “This one’s for my girl.” 

And then that familiar tune played, and you got lost in it. 

The song was even better live. You got to watch Eren sing it, you got to meet his eyes as he told you, sang to you, everything he’d been wanting to say. 

The old you would have slunk away to sit in the back and observe quietly. The old you would have doubted this plan. But, with Eren’s help, you coaxed out the new you that wanted to be front and center for everything, especially music. 

You’d been so eager for change and to try new things that it was almost ironic that you hadn’t expected there to be a new _you_. 

And, as the show progressed from your song to all the more familiar songs Eren’s band often played, you found yourself blending with the crowd and with the music and with the night. You felt like you belonged right there, at the front of it all. 

It felt like their set ended too soon, and it almost made you sad if not for the knowledge of what was to come. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered as Eren nodded for you to head to the edge of the stage by the stairs leading to the upstairs lounge, and you made your way through the crowd to meet him there. 

For a moment, you lost sight of him in the crowd, but the sound of Eren calling your name helped you find him, a pair of green eyes piercing through you once you found him in the crowd. 

“Eren!” you called, and then pushed past the last few throngs of people to throw your arms around him. Your embrace had him stumbling back a little, but he was quick to wrap his arms around your waist and steady you. 

You pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes shining as your gaze met his. 

“So, finally figured out the chorus?” you teased, and Eren flushed as a shy smile broke across his face. You cupped his face, growing more serious, but leaving your gaze tender as you spoke. “I thought I’d been dreaming last night. I didn’t think that was real.” 

“But you hear me now? Loud and clear?” 

“Yes,” you breathed out, your breath fanning across his lips. Your eyes flickered down to them and in an instant, he had your mouths locked together in a fervent kiss, his hands tightening on your waist as he pulled you even closer to him. Everything you couldn’t say, everything you couldn’t put into words, was poured into the kiss. Your hands played with the loose strands of his hair, and then moved down to play with his necklace, and then rested at his shoulders as you finally pulled away. 

Breaking away from the kiss made you breathless, but you couldn’t keep it in any longer. You leaned in close to his ear, whispering what you’d been dying to have him hear. “I love you too. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful song.” 

Eren nuzzled into your neck and you could feel his smile on your skin as you held him close. He tilted his head so that his lips were at your ear, and you shivered as he spoke the words, “You’re mine. I need you to be mine.” 

“I’m yours,” you promised, grabbing his face so you could look at him again. “I’m yours and you’re mine.” 

“I like the sound of that,” he said, that warm smile of his spreading warmth throughout your body. You closed your eyes as he pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling away from you, and you watched Eren as he fumbled with the necklace he always wore, watched as he pulled it over his head, watched as he put it on you instead. 

He grinned as he took in the sight, definitely pleased with himself. “Would it be cheesy to say you have the key to my heart now?” 

“Very cheesy,” you laughed, hands cupping his face once again. “But I like it. I love it.” 

“I love you,” was what he replied, playing with the golden key at your chest and then using it to tug you into another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Keep up with me on Tumblr if you'd like! Same username (writertitan), where I take requests and just clown around tbh.


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